by Lokemun Magar

Created on: January 23, 2008   Last Updated: July 09, 2008

Potential parents: Wrong reasons to have a baby

There are right and wrong reasons for potential parents to have a baby. A baby is the product of a physical union between a male and a female adult. You cannot buy one just as you buy a toy off the rack and when you are sick of it, throw it into the recesses of your closet and leave it there, all forgotten.

Having a baby always feels so right when you are there with your loving partner. The lights are dimmed and you feel the glow of your beloved. You are both so in love and so loving and you want to give the greatest pleasure to your beloved guy or girl. All of a sudden, clothes go a flying off the both of you and off the bed and a new guy or girl is in the making!

Here are the Great Eleven wrong reasons to have a baby.

1. Grandpa wants an heir from the third generation:

Year One : Grandpa wants us to get married.
Year Two : Well, we are married and now Grandpa wants us to have a child.
Year Three: The baby just arrived. Grandpa wants a male, not a female heir. Back to the grind!

It is so easy for traditional Asian couples to want an heir, especially when a hefty inheritance is at stake and stiff competitions from siblings and cousins abound. Unfortunately, many girls come into families and are treated as slaves or sold off because the preferred choice is a male who will pass down the family name. In the olden days, girls may also be drowned or strangled before their birth is discovered by nosy relatives or neighbours.

2. Peer Pressure:

Wife : My brother-in-law's wife has two children. I must catch up quickly. Otherwise my
father-in-law will dote more on her and her children.
Husband: My brother's wife seem to get pregnant so easily. Is there something wrong with my
wife? We have been married years before them but I have yet to have my first child!

It is unfortunate that children are born under the circumstances above. They become part of the bargaining power and are doted upon if they can win over the affection of their grandparents.

3. Social stigma of being childless:

Girl : I don't want to be the only Messrs in the block without a babe or they'll think I'm
queer!
Guy : Wife, we'd better have a kid soon. I overheard that busybody telling Mrs Jones that
I'm impotent.

There are those who get married because they do not want to be called bachelor, spinster or old hag. The next stigma to get rid of is that of being called barren. Hence, a child is created when neither parent feels competent in child-raising or has love for

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