by Jackie Curtis

Created on: January 23, 2008

All children have a meltdown at some point, and the best offense for dealing with a temper tantrum is a great defense. Children are clever little people who live by their instincts, and many grandparents may be at a loss as to how to deal with a little one when in the midst of an emotional crisis. Grandparents have rightfully earned a special role in the life of a grandchild, and it is important to remember a child needs and demands love with structure - even from a grandparent.

Children are great at observing and mimicking behavior, and they crave consistency. Be prepared for a temper tantrum by anticipating it. It is most prudent for grandparents to talk to their adult children about the parenting strategies currently being used. This will serve two purposes: it will exhibit respect for your adult children and for their rights to personal preferences of parenting techniques and styles, and secondly, it will allow for the consistency children crave and respond to, especially in times of trouble with a capital T.

Observe why the temper tantrum is occurring. Many times the root of temper tantrums are found in feelings of frustration, boredom, extreme restlessness, or just tiredness. Identifying the cause may reveal the fix. There is no reasoning with a child in the midst of a tantrum, and if tempted to negotiate with a child who is out of control, lose the thought, for this little love will hold out in the next tantrum for your offers of negotiation once again.

If your little one is obviously exhausted then it may be time to allow the tantrum to run its course while planning for a much needed nap. Extreme frustration may be remedied by lowering the tone of your voice, seeking the attention of your grandchild, and getting to the root of the challenge. Use few words and forget attempting to reason with your little love, for the time for this has long since passed. Listen carefully and help find a solution to the challenge in a constructive way.

Sometimes tantrums just need to run the course. Offer open arms, love, and reassurances you care. Use soft soothing words such as, "You seem very unhappy. I'm going to stay with you because I love you. It hurts my heart to see you so sad." That's it. Nothing more. Waiting the storm out may very well be the solution.

Boredom may be easily fixed by taking the time to find creative and constructive things to do together. After all, these are the memories lasting a lifetime in the heart of a child.

Most importantly, cherish the little face known as grandchild, for this is an awesome journey many grandparents are eager to take. There is a very special relationship just waiting to unfold, and God willing, every grandparent should have the opportunity to dispense much love, wisdom, and devotion to that clever and all so loved little person called grandchild.

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