Toddlers perfectly personify the exploratory nature of our species. They want to touch and feel and taste everything. They'll do things they know they're not supposed to, over and over again. And they simply don't like sitting still.

None of this is because the child is just a bad seed. In fact, it's all perfectly normal. Everything in a toddlers world is brand new and needs exploring. Their new found mobility allows them to undertake such explorations. Coupled with their amazing desire to soak up information, who ever has time to sit still? So much to see and touch in such a big, shiny world.

Toddlers are also unable for the most part, to hide their emotions. They cry when they're scared, hungry, tired, bored, sick, cold, hot, hurt, annoyed....just about anytime the reaction desired is anything but laughing, really. This is simply because whatever feeling they have inside confuses and frustrates them. They know they don't exactly like something about whatever situation they happen to be in, but they don't know what to do about it. All of their emotions are also completely new to them. Just more things they need to learn. The default reaction is to cry.

This is why toddlers have temper tantrums, too. They learn that when they're upset, if they cry, mommy or daddy will figure out what's wrong and fix it. When this doesn't happen to the toddlers expectations, they take their crying protestations to the maximum level. So how do you deal with it? Well, different children will respond to different methods but here are a few that my wife and I use with our toddler son. This is what works for us, with him.

When he is obviously wanting to touch something he's not supposed to we calmly but firmly draw out the word no, to sound like a warning. We don't yell very often at all. If you do, they simply get used to it, and it has very little effect. Not to mention it promotes yelling. If he still has it in mind, we use the same tone and draw out his name as a warning. This makes the warning more direct and is the basis for a sense of accountability. The third time, we remove him from whatever and look directly into his eyes as we calmly explain that he's not allowed to touch it. If he goes back to it, we take him to his room and leave him there until he stops crying. Generally, he won't go back to it after he's been removed from it so we don't have to do this very often.

We never cater to him when he's being whiney. If we did, we'd be teaching him that whining is the way to get what he wants. We'll stop in the middle of whatever and tell him to calm down. After he does, he'll get whatever it is, if it's meant for him. If it's not for him, we explain that it's not for him. If he throws a tantrum, we take him to his room until he stops. He's learned this pattern and now we only need to ask him if he needs to go upstairs for a little while, and he stops.

You can take steps to minimise these little outbursts too. Toddlers need consistency. The more you can provide, the happier they'll generally be. Try to feed them at around the same times, every day. Naps and bed should be consistantly timed, too. Be consistant with the rules and the discipline, too. And most of all, be patient. They have a lot to learn and no doubt, it will take time.

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