by Dr. G. A. Anderson

Created on: January 23, 2008   Last Updated: February 20, 2009

A common reaction after a home foreclosure is the tendency to take all the blame upon oneself, viewing it as a character weakness or lack of achievement. It is easy to see oneself as a complete failure. Life after a foreclosure is a challenging time, but there is no need for despair or discouragement and certainly not as a personal failure.

There is a grieving process after foreclosure much like that which is experienced after the passing of a loved one. Just as it is important to grieve for the loss of life, it is important to grieve the loss of a dream. It is, after all, a life-altering experience. And just as critical to remember is that the grieving won't go on forever. There will be a future that will be brighter after the struggle you've just come through.

There will be a time of reflection followed by an awakening when you recognize the silver lining and the resurgence of hopes and dreams. If you think it will be impossible to live a normal life, think again. In some cases, creditors will be more than happy to grant credit because they know you are no longer saddled with a hefty mortgage payment each month. It is somewhat like the after-effects of bankruptcy, when creditors are looking for people who no longer have huge monthly obligations.

However, that's the time to be cautious. When creditors target you once they learn of your misfortune, it's very tempting to fall for the "repair your credit" approach they use to lure you back into debt. Foreclosure lists provide creditors with prospective customers looking to put life back on an balance and assume they will grab any offer of credit that comes along. Generally, these offers are tied to outrageous interest rates and annual fees. Beware of the predators that lurk.

Getting sound advice from a financial advisor will be a big step in making decisions about housing arrangements in the short term and in making a plan for the future. Taking the assets you have left into account, you'll have to see where you stand and have an idea what to realistically expect. You must first take care of housing, food, clothing - the basics of life. Temporary housing with a compassionate friend or relative may be an option for some people, to allow time to get your feet back on the ground and devise a method of moving forward.

The stigma of foreclosure is not what it once was, especially in today's economy. Unfortunately, foreclosures have become commonplace in the United States. Like bankruptcy, the economy is certainly seeing a large number of consumers who have had to throw in the towel because of predatory lending practices and perhaps some unwise decisions. The unburdening of feeling so strapped with monthly mortgage payments and high homeowner expense could be a blessing in disguise.

So you are not alone, nor unique. The main thing to understand is that a foreclosure is not a measure of who you are as a person. Looking at it as a financial reversal is much saner than taking it as a sign of personal failure or defeat.

You have two options: You can let the misery go on and grieve for an inordinately long period of time, or you can grieve the loss and then get on with life. It is, after all, a new opportunity for another start. It's a chance to make new choices, and perhaps find a less cluttered, complicated, and frustrating path ahead of you.

In time, you will realize that the foreclosure process was indeed unfortunate, but it was not the worst thing that could have happened, and other avenues of possibility have opened up for you. Hopefully, you will have learned valuable lessons about how to move into the next phase of your life.

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