As my grandma, a spunky 97 year old lady who had lived through two strokes, three husbands, four cats and five near death experiences, laid on the bed she called me close to her. Grandma was the inspiration of everything that I was, and everything that I would be. Her spontaneity in raising not only my mother, but also my four uncles on her own for most of her life and still managed to smile made her my near idol, excepting the fact that I worship God, also her fault. The dimly lit room was a stark contrast to what I would have thought it to be. The long, lush, dark curtains were pulled together, completely blocking out the winter sun, and a single lamp by her bed flickered under the stress of the lack of energy. I crept in close to her, and placed my hand on her shoulder. She looked so peaceful, just lying there, taking in her last breaths determined to pass on the wisdom that kept her going all these years.

"Grandma," I started. "I'm here. You promised to tell me the secret to living a long life." Her eyes opened, and her old, wise deep blue one's contrasted deeply against my young vibrant ones.

"I'm so glad that you came," her usually firm voice shook. "So, I promised to tell you the secret, did I?"

I smiled back at her, not daring to question her methods, nor to interrupt her.

"The secret to living a long and happy life is thus..." Before I let you partake in the valuable information that she passed onto me, this bit of information is vital. Her house was immaculate. "Never take time away from your family to do housework. Another thing, never go to the grocery store for only one item. And, finally, when you find that you need to go to Los Angeles, take the public transportation."

I sat there dumbfounded. For fifteen long years, I had waited for her wisdom to be passed onto me, and that was it. 1. Don't worry about the housecleaning, 2. Don't go to the grocery store, and 3. Don't drive in LA. She saw my forehead crinkle, and explained.

"People are much more important than keeping a clean house. Be with them, because it might be your last time. Secondly, if you went to the grocery store for every little item, you'd only waste time, and you wouldn't build patience. And, I know that it sounds silly, but driving in Los Angeles is dangers, and nobody should ever do it."

Looking back on that last time I saw my grandmother, I realize that she was oh so very right, considering the other day I had to go to the grocery store to pick up more cleaning supplies, got stuck behind a woman that have about three hundred items in her cart, and got in a car accident on the way home. Ah, but such is life.

Learn more about this author, Alice Montgomery.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Satire: Life?
We want to hear your view. Write now!