13 of 57

Write now Article Tools

I live on the planet "I WISH"! The weather there is always' perfect! The children are all well behaved and perfectly mannered and every toy works as promised, oh yeah and batteries are always included!
Actually, the reality is much darker. I am the perfect parent in my twisted, overactive imagination. I have learned over time to take credit for all of my kid's "childhood incidents" or shall we say accidents! All those precious moments that made one blush at the time but somehow upon reflection you are able to make it all sound so reasonable, almost as if it really all turned out just as you wished it to! This is called " turning it into an important life lesson".

First of all I needed to eliminate any medical issues for my children! I received my doctor's assurance that both my children's 5 senses were unimpaired. All these years later and I still have my doubts. I have learned that a diagnosis of 20/20 vision does not insure children will see things nor will a hearing test guarantee good listening skills, and inevitably will a cute as a button nose, that can smell fresh baked cookies a block away will be able to detect a 3 week old sandwich rotting under their beds. Their touch sense, well between the two of them it seems that they are both are quite sensitive as the merest poke in the arm or leg, from either of them sets them howling in agony. As far as taste goes, well I accept that there is lots of room for improvement on this issue as everything they eat needs to be either smothered in ketchup or thickly coated with sugar. I put them in the majority on that issue.Happy Meal loving little freaks that they are!

Being the perfect parent that I am, I have frequently relied on the "learn from your mistakes" method. An example of this would be; when my 5 year old daughter was irritating my 3 year son ( for those of you that can recall their early communication attempts with their siblings) you must agree that sometimes you must heed the verbal warnings of your opponent, especially when his face has turned that particular shade of red. This incident occurred at our local mall which had a charming water fountain at one end that people threw pennies into. We happened to be standing by this fountain when my daughter learned a very important life lesson about listening, she was warned to stop it or she would go into the water, my son was very clear on this! Now here we have the perfect example of action and reaction! She didn't stop her action and therefore

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: I am a perfect parent?
We want to hear your view. Write now!