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When you get older..in your 20's and 30's life is supposed to be all you wanted and planned . You are on your own. You have a job. A place to live. A house or an apartment. A family maybe. Then circumstances force you to change. Your views change and your thoughts on how life should be change. You are supposed to be on your own. Not living with your parents. But, you need to. The stress of living with your parents as extended family can be very great. It can take an emotional toll on you and them.

If it is just for a few days or even a couple of weeks you are fine. You renew likes and dislikes. You get to know each other better and remember forgotten childhood treasures. If you have children they get to know their grandparents better. This is the perfect time to become closer and make memories that will last a life time.

There can be great stress, however, if you have to be in their home for an extended time period. You become their child again. You feel like nothing is your own. You have to follow their rules. The house is not yours so you feel that you are not free to do as you please. Even if your parents insist that you treat their house as your own. You know it is not. You must keep your children quiet. You can't watch what you want on T.V. You must follow their bath time schedule.

At first you move in out of necessity. Divorce. House foreclosure. Illness. Help with taking care of your children or just trying to get a better start in life. There are times when we all need the love and support of extended family. Whatever your reason, you intend it to only be temporary. You end up staying for months. Tension mounts because the longer you stay the greater the say your parents feel they have in your life. From the food you eat or don't eat to when and where you go. Gradually the longer you stay the less control you have over your own life This causes hurt feelings and resentment. Your parents mean well but you are an adult. Used to being on your own it is hard to give up the control of your life that you had. Your parents feel justified in giving their opinion. And they are. You are living in their house and have asked for their help. When you move in with your parents you are opening up your life for their judgment. You need to realize that. They will criticize and give their expert opinion. To you this is interference but to them you deserve it.

Living with your parents is very stressful and there is no getting around it. Everyone means the best. Sometimes it cannot be avoided. You should try to make it temporary for the best of the whole family.

Learn more about this author, Bethany Harvey.
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