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these two things. Whatever I can get done, I get done. If laundry takes 2 days, then that's fine with me. It took me quite some time to reach this point. I felt really guilty if the sink wasn't empty, toys weren't picked up, and the house was a mess when my husband came home. My husband helped me understand that my primary job is to take care of the kids, not be a maid.

With his help, I finally figured out that picking up toys more than once a day was a fruitless waste of energy. While I still believe my husband shouldn't come home to a house that looks like it's been hit by a wrecking ball, I'm learning to chill out about the mess. I would say any guilty feelings about not having the house ship-shape are just mere twinges now. He knows I'm up against the whims of a headstrong child every day. Sometimes things just aren't going to go as planned.

My husband and I devote ourselves to our kids. They don't go without; we do. We rarely go out, rarely see movies but we've found we relish every second of our family time together. Our finances have been tailored down to meet a single income. It's a sacrifice both of us decided to make for our children. And I wholly believe we've made the best choice.

Do I feel guilty because I get to experience all the little joys of my children's lives? No, not really. I only feel guilty when I consider that I should have done this very thing with my older child. I don't believe any mother should straddle the guilt fence anymore. Do what you want, make your husband understand why you feel the way you do, and move away from your guilt. I'm heading in that very direction with the dawning of every day.

Learn more about this author, S. F. Heron.
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