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The feelings of guilt of a stay at home mom

The funniest part about being a mother is that all of us feel guilt. It's almost the official Mom recipe. Take our "work" out of the equation for a few minutes. If we aren't available to our kids for the inevitable bumps and bruises, homework troubles, and special events, we're feeling guilty. If we are available, then there must be something else we should be doing instead. There's really no way a mom can find the middle road. Guilt and Mom go hand in hand.

I must say I have very few feelings of guilt with being a stay at home Mom. You see, I worked through the first 7 years of my older daughter's life. She was plunked into part-time day care at 6 weeks old and graduated to full-time day care at 8 months of age. That was guilt. I dropped her off at 8 a.m. and picked her up at 6 p.m. It was brutal and broke my heart every single day.

Before the birth of our little one 3 years ago, my husband and I decided I would no longer work. I would have jumped for joy if I hadn't been 8 months pregnant. Any inkling of guilt about not contributing financially to the household went right out the window. I would get to see everything my baby did developmentally, and be able to participate in every activity my older daughter could cook up. I stopped working a full month before the baby's birth. It was nirvana. My husband supported my being home with the children 100 percent.

What I've discovered is that I still have some guilt. When I think about my older child, I deeply regret that I couldn't be with her all day as she grew through her baby, toddler, and preschool stages. It makes me immeasurably sad that I couldn't volunteer at her school for kindergarten parties and trips. Same for first and second grade. I try to be positive and enjoy the time we have now. I know she appreciates that I am available to her whenever she needs me. But I missed so many things and this will haunt me forever.

Some days I just relish being at home. I get to see my Mom, a 4-year breast cancer survivor, whenever I want. My toddler gets to spend a lot of time with her too. It's kind of hard to feel really guilty about being a stay-at-home mom when I now have the opportunity to be with my own Mom after coming so close to losing her. I get to see every single milestone in my children's lives. I don't have to hear it second hand from a care giver.

I try very hard to have some structure to the days. I fail most of the time, except for my toddler's nap time and school pick-up time. My whole day revolves around


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

The feelings of guilt of a stay at home mom

  • 1 of 28

    by S. F. Heron

    The funniest part about being a mother is that all of us feel guilt. It's almost the official Mom recipe. Take our "work"

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  • 2 of 28

    by Katelyn Vercoe

    The Feelings of Guilt of a Stay at Home Mother



    Guilt. It's a dreadful feeling. It insidiously permeates so many corners of

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  • 3 of 28

    by Jennifer Lavallee

    When I first became a mother, there was absolutely no choice but for me to work. My husband wasn't working consistently,

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  • 4 of 28

    by The Kid

    The old saying, "If I knew then what I know now..." has been on my mind more and more as I get comfortable in my thirties.

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  • 5 of 28

    by A. Goltiao

    Guilt, if you haven't figured it out, is a common feeling we stay at home mommies get from time to time. Whether it's because

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The feelings of guilt of a stay at home mom

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