by Cheryl Loux

Created on: January 21, 2008   Last Updated: November 16, 2011

I don't know where my parents learned their parenting skills; I guess they learned from a different time and a different place. Even though times have changed, they've remained the same. It's just who they are.

Now it is my turn to parent. As a mother of three young children, I do things much differently than my parents because it's who I am.

At first thought, inspiration comes to mind. I strive to inspire my children. I want them to realize whatever their wildest dreams will be it is my responsibility to lay a foundation of confidence so that they will not be so fearful of the beautiful world around them.

I teach my children to respect others by showing my respect for them. I wish more parents would do that. Just because you are the parent doesn't mean you get to disrespect and belittle your children. Why do some parents feel they can do such a thing w hich is a disservice to your children? Use time to uplift them, not hurt them.

My seven year old girl talks a lot and I soak up every word. I don't care how meaningless her conversation may seem, it's meaningful to her and that's all that matters. So, I listen, show interest, and ask questions. I encourage her ideas. It's important that I let her know that I care about what she thinks and how she feels. I do this with my four year old son too. This is such a small thing to do and it has such a huge impact on how your children will feel about themselves in the future. It's all part of stabilizing that foundation of confidence.

On the Fourth of July, I buy firecrackers. Obviously I use caution because they can be dangerous, but please buy them. Children love them. It is such a bonding experience. It is not the act of having firecrackers, but the meaning behind it. The look on your children's faces and all the fun and excitement just says it all. This is sheer family fun.

When my children believe they have learned something new and they tell me about it, I compiment them on how well they've learned it. I don't care whether they've gotten the information right. I do care that I do not rudely correct them because what's the point in that? Their desire to come and talk with me first is what I truly appreciate. What parent wouldn't love this?

I never laugh at my children, I laugh with them. Laughter should be used as a remedy and not as a symbol of ridicule. I never want my children to feel ridiculed by me. I imagine they will get enough of that from strangers. Home is where they know things are open, safe, and where they can be who they are with no questions asked.

So, I've learned to do everything my parents didn't do for me. I believe that my parents are the way they are because that is just how things turned out for them. It is my turn to break that chain of dysfunction. I also believe that because they raised me the way they did, makes me the parent that I am today and I thank them for that.

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