by David R. Chase

Created on: January 21, 2008   Last Updated: February 26, 2010

If you're the kind of guy who enjoys dating married women, then this article may help you prepare for what's in store. If you're not, continue reading anyway - it may help you recognize this under-cover slickster when you see him.

MARRIED EQUALS OFF THE MARKET

If she's the kind of woman who has a husband snared, she is off limits. It doesn't matter what she says, including "I'm not happy" or "We're getting a divorce." You need to know that she's the kind of woman whose word is worth nothing - and you can't trust a girl like that. Be ready to have your weak heart broken.

She's sneaky, she's a liar, and she doesn't truly care about anyone but herself.

MARRIED MIGHT MEAN HOSPITALIZATION

If you get caught - and I sincerely hope you do - you can expect to spend a few days in the Intensive Care Unit. Any man worth his salt won't tolerate a slap in the face like that, so pack your overnight bag and keep it at the ready; you can ask your own wife to bring it to the hospital for you.

Hopefully your own wife will run into the girl you're cheating with when she's visiting you, and the hospital gets the opportunity to make some more money off another patient.

DIVORCE LAWYERS COST MONEY - AND IT MAY BE YOURS

Divorce isn't free, and hopefully the poor sap who's been cuckolded by his tart of a wife does the right thing by kicking her to the curb with the other trash. She may not have the money to pay for a divorce lawyer, so start saving money now - she'll be asking for it when he rightfully drags her to court.

Remember, he doesn't owe her a thing; if she's asking for alimony and child support, she should have thought of that before she lifted her skirt for you.

GET YOUR SNEAK ON

Before you have to worry about hospitalization, divorce lawyers, and broken hearts, you have to be a sneaky little fella. If you're dating a married woman, you probably already possess this wonderful trait - but if you don't, it's time to work on it. You've got to be as shady and low-life as they come, so work on your trashy attributes as much as you can. This may include watching plenty of Jerry Springer, lying to everyone you come into contact with, and shamming out of every responsibility you've ever had.

For some people, it takes work to be a real dirt bag. If you're lucky enough to already be a dirt bag, though, you're all set to start wrecking someone's home.

Cheaters are the lowest form of spouse on the planet. If you decide to help a nasty, conniving woman ruin her innocent husband's life, you deserve everything you get. You also deserve to be called out for the dirt bag that you are - and I sincerely hope that I see you as moral support on "Divorce Court" or as the jackass who's running away from the cameras on "Cheaters."

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