Cats on a diet.
The Mop and the Rolling Stone

I am the proud owner of two male, mature, FAT cats. They became indoor cats after a move to an apartment on a busy street when before they were outdoor cats.
After a few months at the new apartments I noticed that they were putting on a few pounds and took them to the vet. Well the "few pounds" turned out to be one cat weighing in at 25.5 pounds and the other coming in at a slightly larger 28 pounds even!

"What happened?" The vet said. Maybe they misinterpreted the word "auto feeder", I thought to myself. They were promptly put on a diet. I came home with diet food, a diet plan and high expectations. Little did I know that my fat cats were not in on my plans to have them slim down to the size of normal cats.

Well a few weeks into my Cat Diet and I can proudly say that the Fat one has GAINED 1.5 pounds and the FATTER one has GAINED 3!

It seems they LIKE the diet food and broke into the food cabinet and ate the whole bag in one night. Then they proceeded to surprise me each morning with loaves of bread by my bed, also half eaten packages of hot dogs, bags of frozen chicken nuggets, tubs of butter, sour cream, hostess powdered donuts. One of them found out how to open the refrigerator and freezer.

In desperation I bought a leash and a harness for them. bought the small dog one. What a joke. It went around their HEAD. I took it back and got the medium dog one. NOPE. Large dog 22"-28" harness for my precious bundles of fur.

I attempted to harness my smaller, furrier one first. He was perturbed. It was a royal embarrassment. I promised not to take him anywhere where his friends would be. We got out to the parking lot and I placed him on the ground and he FLATTENED himself out like a rug. All 25.5 pounds of him were melted like a dust floor mop. With my leash attached it looked ridiculous. I coaxed and prodded. I wouldn't budge. He was flat and wouldn't move.

OK I accepted defeat and thought high hopes for the other cat.
I harnessed him up, after loosening it to cover his more melon shaped frame and 28 lbs.
I lovingly placed him on the ground on his feet and he tipped over onto his side.
"Oops" I said and righted him onto his feet. and he tipped over to the other side. What was going on?
I put him back onto his feet and he tipped back onto the other side. He was like a stone that was on an unsteady edge, just toppling over. I tried over and over, he just tipped from side to side.
Unknown to me there was a lady parked near who was about beside herself laughing at me watching me try to keep this cat upright when he was tip from side to side, me begging him and standing patiently with the leash hopefully stretched taut with this lame black cat laying on his side like a beached whale.
I looked like an idiot.

I figured he had enough exercise tipping over and over and released his harness and drove home.
I could still hear the lady laughing as I drove away.

Things I learned from my cats?

1. You can not take a cat for a walk that does not WANT to go for a walk.
2. A cat on a diet will find food other places, like YOUR food.
3. You do not want to make a hungry cat mad.
3. Fat cats are really not that bad after all.

We are going to stick to the diet cat food, which they like, and I am going to have my kids chase them around for exercise. The cats love it, the kids love it, and no one laughs at me.

If anyone is struggling with overweight cats, I wish you luck, until then enjoy you fat little kitties!

Learn more about this author, Isis Kennedy.
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