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I was fortunate to be raised by my grandmother, who was in her 70's. Any positive aspects to my character, I attribute to her. Anything negative were bad habits I'd learned since she passed away. I don't think I had the ability to throw any tantrums with her, as she ruled me the old fashioned way, with strict discipline and lots of love.

It's wonderful to see my own children interact with their grandparents, as I know the special place they hold and the excellent lessons they have to pass onto the following generations. Still, children will be children and not always cooperative. Grandparents must play to their own strength's when handling a "difficult" child, who decides that a tantrum is the best method of getting their way.

Grandparents are the calming influence on a family, they've "been there, done that" and should draw on those years of experience to deter tantrums. They should give clear directives to the child. When they plan on playing at the park for 30 minutes, or visiting a friend for two hours, it should be explained beforehand with reminders when it is nearly time to go home. This will ensure the child has a complete understanding of the situation.

If it's too late and the child insists on raising a commotion, the first step is to change the child's attention from whatever is causing the tantrum. Encourage the child that there is somebody on the swing and they should try another playground item, or they will visit their friend again next week. If the behavior persists, then remove them from the area. You may have to put up with some kicking and screaming, but this will help next time you're in that situation. Remember the best asset at this time is the grandparents calmness, use that and it will eventually rub off onto the child. They will understand that ruffling their grandparents is impossible and adherence to grandma and grandpa's rules will benefit them in the long run.

Along with a sense of calm, the next best weapon in the grandparent's arsenal is intelligence. Plan ahead, so that you always have an alternative if a tantrum arises. If dear little grandchild insists on wanting a donut or drinking a soda when you prefer they had a piece of fruit, have your alternative ready and make it seem like the best thing that could happen. Imagine being a little monkey when eating a banana or try and peel an orange in one go and see who can make the longest peel. You're really only limited by your imagination, the important thing is to put the stimulus for the tantrum into the background by replacing it with something that's fun and interesting.

It's been common practice for many grandparents to slip a coin or piece of candy into the hand of a grandchild at the completion of a visit. This should not be underestimated as a tool for having a child co-operate. Many grandchildren hang off every word of a grandparent and behave like little angels, just to experience the joy of grandpa or grandma's surprise when they depart for the day. A lot can be achieved by this small act of grandparent/grandchild bonding.

There is no doubt, that you may have to ride out a few tantrums, but they will diminish if you think ahead and remain composed. Giving into the child will only make it worse next time around.

Learn more about this author, Peter Robertson.
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