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around you in the same community and having others accountable to you in one way or another. The truth of the matter is that you are never alone in the village.

As your child grows, so will you in more than one way. You will find that your child has more than one mother all of a sudden, each having her own best traditions of bringing up a child.

Many a time, these traditions may be good in that particular household but not in yours. Therein lies the art of negotiation and conquest over the rights of your own child and over your rights as the mother of your child. Again, it is the battle of the self and the village community.

Advantages are aplenty if you are a thoroughbred village-raised mother or one who has been adopted by a village, just as I have been. Here are the ABCs of allowing your village to raise your child with or for you:

Anchors:
To young mothers, an anchor is a more experienced mother whom she can look up to for advice. It need not be the same person for every issue and this is possible when there is a village of experienced mothers to fall back on.

Backups: If you are holding a job, backup day care for your children can be extremely important to your career. When an exigency took place in my bay-sitter's family, for example the death of a beloved, she would have her entourage of good neighbors who would be more than happy to take my son for the day. That left me to work in peace, knowing that my son is in another pair of good and experienced child-minder's hands.

Cheer and Companionship: Your village' is not just there to look after your child. Count on the neighbors to look you up for a chat and release the loneliness in you!

Dining:
When you are a single mother and you have only the day's horrendous events to look back on and the drudgery of night alone with an active baby, a good dinner provided by your baby-sitter is great enough to break the day's back luck!

Extended Services:
When I fell terribly ill once, my baby-sitter told me to go home straightaway and leave my son to her until I was well again. Needless to say, I cried myself home and slept only after being sedated by the medication.

Friends Forever: I stopped working a few months back to take care of my son's failing grades. When we went on a two-week long holiday, his godmother called on the day we went and the day we arrived home. We felt such love and care. Whenever we did not visit we live half an hour's drive away by taxi she will call us up and say that the village is awaiting our return.

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