Large or small? Well, I guess that depends on the kind of person you are. For example, if you were an only child, it might not be a good idea to have a family of ten. You wouldn't know how to parent all of them at once, you might not anticipate a lot of the difficulties facing big families, etc. Of course, if you were raised in a large family, it might be better to have a large family yourself. You expect a lot of hte challenges facing large families, and you know when to butt into an argument and when to let the kids work it out themselves. But sometimes it gets lonely being an only child, and people want to have a bigger family. And sometimes having ten brothers and sisters can get too hectic, with too little privacy, and not enough attention from your parents. Someone from a family of ten might not like a big family, and want a smaller one.

Both kinds of families have good and bad sides. In a large family, you never need to look far for company. There's always someone to play with, or to talk with, and choices too! If you feel the need to run around wild, go play with your crazy sister. If you want to have a philosophical discussion, go take a walk with your brother. And even if you get tired of your sibs running in and out of your room all the time, messing with your stuff, giving you no privacy, wrecking the car, or whatever, a big-family kid wouldn't be able to say which brother or sister to kick out. There's a bond between kids from big families. While sibs can pick on you all they want, they're always there to stand up for you if others try it.

Of course, small families have a lot going for them too. I come from a small family myself, and I can say that it's so nice to occasionally be able to sit down with my parents after they come home from work, and that they don't have to go right away to take someone somewhere, and to just talk. Also, with my sibs we can get to know each other so well, just by being with each other one-on-one. Even when all of us are together, it's so intimate. There's also a lot more care that parents can spend on kids in a small family. Kids can do more things, with parents able to take them more places, and go to basketball games, chior concerts, and volleyball tournaments. It's also easier to keep things organized and together. When there's a big family, it's harder to keep everyhting in line, and know when who's going where for what, and keep the house clean, and have dinners made... My friends from big families are amazed when they come over to my house, and we apologize for the mess! Kids also have a more focused parenting. When parents get to spend more time with their kids, they teach them more about life skills and wrong vs right. I think that's the biggest piece to having a small family.

So it's great to have a big family, and I don't know anyone who would get rid of even one brother or sister; everyone has such a unique personality, it's impossible to think about living without them! But on the other hand, it's quieter in a small family, and people are more involved with each other, a very tight support group. I know I souldn't trade my family for anything, and even though I dream about another brother sometimes, I can't wish we had a different family. It's perfect just the way it is!

Learn more about this author, Mary Frances Brennan.
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