by Patti Winters

Created on: January 19, 2008

Children can be both a joy and the source of your largest heartache. It is natural for children to push the boundaries of what they perceive are the limits parents have placed on them. It is up to the parents to let them know when it is acceptable to push the limits and when it is not. While the children are learning the limits and boundaries that have been placed on them they at times will get an attitude and will be perceived as difficult. Parents have to work on diffusing the situations that arise from these instances and here are a few ideas to help you.

The most effective strategy that I have observed is to make the child laugh. Now that doesn't mean that you tickle them to get them out of their attitude because this won't work. If you observe your child you will be able to figure out what type of things make them laugh and use it to defuse the situation. For my son, if you say something completely absurd then he will start laughing. He will try and stop it, but the laughter overrides the anger and then you can talk with him and find out what the root of the problem is, without threats or physical punishments.

Another strategy you can use is to have your child relax by themselves and give them a task to do. Some suggestions could be to draw a picture, write a poem or story or work on something, keep them away from the computer and television and this will give them a chance to calm down and think about the situation and not be distracted by the computer and television. With the drawing and writing they are more likely to express their feelings and it will help them resolve what is making them upset.

It is important to remember that children are learning and growing and trying to find their place in the world. What parents perceive as having difficult children and have to deal with attitude adjustments is in actually children trying to stretch their wings and find out what they should be doing with the thoughts and energy they have. If you are supportive and help them to understand what is going on then they will be less likely to have the need for an attitude adjustment. Your children are going to be productive members of society and it is up to you to help them find their place in it.

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