by Erin Ahmed

Created on: January 19, 2008

It was an all too familiar scene; the church, the mourners, another funeral. As I sat there listening to the eulogy of the dearly departed a thought, like a bright neon sign, lit up in my mind. Why is it that we wait until someone has left us to say all these nice things about them? Why don't we pay them these compliments while they are here with us, when it matters?

My mind wandered deep into this thought and I determined then and there that I was going to incorporate this new idea into my daily life. I decided that from this point forward, I would not withhold any kind words from those I cared about or even strangers. Honestly, how difficult is it to say something nice to someone? Once you get used to it, not hard at all.

Sometimes a compliment can be as simple as saying, "Gee, that color looks really good on you." Other times it's something more personal and difficult to say, like telling someone how they've made a difference in your life. In any case, the reward is worth it for both of you.

To see someone smile a genuine smile or even shed "happy tears" because you reached out to them in an unexpected gesture of generosity is one of life's better moments. You never know when saying even the simplest kind word to someone can make a difference in their whole day or beyond.

I will share one experience I had in putting this new behavior to the test. It was one of the most interesting and rewarding experiences I had with a group of people from my church.

As sometimes happens in church groups or any group for that matter, from time to time tensions can develop between members. This was the case in our deacon's board when I decided it was time to apply my new principle at the next board meeting. Before we got down to the church business matters at hand, I told everyone that I wanted to do something just a little different this time.

I explained that I thought it would be nice to begin our evening on a positive note so I asked everyone to look at the person sitting directly across from them and tell them one thing that they admired about that person. The result was amazing.

Nearly everyone was surprised, and all were pleased and encouraged by the compliments that were paid to them. You could feel the tension flee from the room and it was replaced with an atmosphere of warmth and genuine camaraderie. It was the best meeting we ever had.

So don't wait until it's too late, speak up now and make someone feel good. I challenge you to offer a kind word to a stranger or tell someone today just one thing you admire about them, and watch what happens.

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