by Peter Robertson

Created on: January 19, 2008

Perhaps this title should be: "avoiding the urge to mother your adult child". As we remain parents and treat our children accordingly no matter what the age. With that being said, we would prefer they went their own way at some point, rather than relying on their parents forever.

We spend years loving and nurturing our children. We waited patiently for their first tooth to sprout, that first awkward step and any utterance closely resembling a first word. Our lives are taken over by that little bundle of joy, no matter how smelly the diaper or loud the scream.

We should prepare our children to survive in the outside world as soon as they take those initial ungainly steps. A sense of independence can be instilled in them at an early age.
When you take them to the park, let them touch, smell and hear the sounds around them. Let them chase a little lizard or flying bird. Watch them take their first solo trip down the slippery slide. Our job isn't to fill their heads with fear, but to ensure a safe environment exists for their pleasure and let them discover it. It's only natural they will slip and fall, that's where parents come in with a helping hand and words of encouragement. The elation you see on your child's face when they conquer a new challenge will wipe away any tears from a previous tumble. Let them achieve and give them a sense that they did it alone.

The next stage occurs when they reach puberty and really should be experiencing as much of what their world has to offer as possible. Here is where parents lead by example and show that they are getting out there and undergoing new experiences that will further encourage a sense of exploration. It is always better to demonstrate rather than preach, so lead the way and show your children that the world is wonderful. Encourage them to travel to wherever they're interested in and the budget will allow. Whether that's to the nearest National park or overseas, it will benefit them greatly. Again, as parents, we should be there to advise the safest options and give a guiding hand where applicable. The rest is up to them and their imagination.

So what happens when you've given your children so good an upbringing that it seems they want to live with you forever? No matter what you've done, you still can't shake them from the nest. Now is the time for a more proactive approach. Investigate their options and take them to hunt for an apartment and rummage around yard sales or thrift stores for the many household bargains on offer. Encourage them to prepare an evening meal and teach them to be more self reliant without them really knowing it.

It can be a natural progression from there, and they will come upon the big decision to move out all on their own, or so it will seem to them. Congratulations, you've enhanced your own life as well as that of your child.

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