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Well some things don't change! I am sure your child had temper tantrums, and now, your grandchildren will too! Temper tantrums are still a part of growing up and are very common in toddlers, most often in children aged between 2 - 4. The good news is, you have experience on your side, and possibly more patience and time to be able to deal with these outbursts. I have assumed you will be with your grandchildren, and the parents not present when these tantrums are occurring. If the parents are present, it's best to step back, and let them deal with them - this shows the grandchild you respect the decisions of the parent. Offer advice if asked; hold your tongue otherwise.

There are some common sense suggestions to help 'taper the tantrum', and stop them occurring in the first instance.

1. Temper tantrums are most likely to happen when a grandchild is bored, hungry or tired. Don't choose these times to push the boundaries of your relationship! Address the conflicting behavior (eg tiredness) first.

2. To avoid scenes at the local Mall, it is best to go shopping when the grandchild is fed and rested, if you can choose your timing. It's a good idea to pop a few little toys (I find books or little cars good) in a bag along with a few pre- prepared snacks to whip out, if needed.

3. Talk to your grandchild. Involve them in the days chores/events. Let them be actively involved. For example, you are going to the shops to buy new gardening gloves. At the store, let them chose a color for you. This helps the grandchild feel important and valued to you.

Those little tips help stave off some tantrums, but sadly, they will still occur. Here are some helpful strategies for coping and dealing with the inevitable tantrum.

If your grandchild hurls themselves to the floor, the first thing you do is to take a deep breath. Try and relax (as hard as it is.) The grandchild will feed off your emotion, and if you are calm, it is harder for them to continue the (bad) behavior.

Let them 'vent' there emotions. This is usually quick. If you can, get down to their level, and tell them you still love them, but they are stopping people doing their shopping/ work etc. At this point, some children will calm down enough for you to hold them. If not, say to the grandchild "when you have finished, we will continue our .... " (shopping/ morning tea etc)and the most important thing for you to remember is to NOT GIVE IN TO THEIR DEMANDS. If you do give in, and buy them/ give them what the tantrum is about, you will make the likelihood of another tantrum certain, by reinforcing the negative (undesirable) behavior. The grandchild learns that they will get what they want by throwing a tantrum.

It is important to reinforce the negative outcomes of the tantrum. You may tell them (in a calm voice) "Sorry, I would love to give you what you are asking for, but because you had a tantrum, you cannot have it. Next time, remember to ask me nicely."

This teaches the grandchild the consequences of their behavior. They don't know it, but you have taught them an important lesson.

Good luck!

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