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Assessing "It takes a village to raise a child"

Military wives know the meaning of "It takes a village to raise a child." We give birth to our babies in all kinds of conditions; with our husbands holding our hands, with our husbands shouting congratulations over the phone, with our husbands sending flowers from overseas or with our mothers-in-laws holding our hands, wishing our husbands hadn't been killed. But, one constant holds true, when we are finished grunting and pushing the rest of the wives are there, both in spirit and in force.

By the time the baby is wrapped in blankets and sleeping in the hospital bassinet, there will be a meal brought by someone else's wife to replace the paltry hospital food. And, before the exhausted mother can think twice about her other children, she will be told which of her neighbors is watching them for the next few days. It's just how it is. The village system has been enacted.

By the time the new mother is ready to go home, she will have been eased by the idea that her children have been cared for by friends. And, her home has been cleaned to standards beyond those of the pickiest of maids. Her refrigerator and freezer alike have been stocked to the brim with meals and groceries and she'll be greeted at the door by friends willing to help in any way that they can.

Perhaps the most amazing part of this village is the way in which they care for the children. The children, while always knowing their parents of course, recognize the transient nature of their lives and know that they must learn to rely on their village to care for them. So, when their mothers are gone to something like giving birth and the other mothers swoop in to help, the children fall into step and are able to be nurtured by them as if they were part of their own families.

No one thinks anything of adding extra places to their tables for weeks at a time while a mother recovers from a difficult c-section, or while trying to work out a difficult issue with another child. The goal of the military village is to ensure that no one is ever lost to the shuffle and that everyone, child, spouse and active duty member alike, is always cared for and feels loved and protected. But most of all, the highest priority of the village, is to make sure that the children are taken care of in the absence of the parents.

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