by Iseult Murphy

Created on: January 18, 2008

WHY I WRITE

Put simply, because I have to.

I had a lonely childhood. Youngest of ten, chronically ill, I used to get very bored, irritated and depressed (or DIB, as I called it). As my family was besieged by problem after problem I felt adrift, lost in this sea of chaos which I didn't understand and could do nothing about. To help me with these feelings, one of my older sisters encouraged me to write. I haven't stopped since then.

When I am depressed, I write because losing myself in other worlds and other characters helps me to cope and make sense of what is going on around me. In my stories, characters have purpose and meaning even if they can't see it. I gain perspective by controlling the lives of my hapless players. There is meaning in life; I can see order out of chaos.

When I am happy, I write because I feel full of creative energy. It tingles inside me and I have to let it out. I feel powerful. I am writing what I love and I love what I am writing.

Sometimes I write about things that have happened in my life. I have to be feeling strong when I write these stories because I delve so deep into my emotions often painful ones that I need to make sure I won't get lost in them. The process of writing them down, finding the right word, honoring them gives me great release and makes me even stronger to write the next one.

When I don't write for a few days I grow restless and irritated, filled with a longing I can't quite put my finger on and itching to find an outlet for my creative energy. Even on the days when I act or paint, I still need to write to feel fulfilled.

Sometimes I will hear something, read something or see something and an idea, character or full-fledged story pops into my head and I have to write it down there and then for fear of losing it. When I am in the middle of writing a book, the characters fill my head and occupy my life for the duration of the novel. They will chastise me for neglecting them, encourage me to do more with them, ask me to look after them.

I write because I am imperfect and the only way I can improve my craft is by practicing it. It is an addiction. The more I do, the more I want to do. My imagination sparks; I tap into the flow of creativity and words flow through me seeking an outlet. I have so many notes, ideas and outlines that I pray I will live long enough to write them all.

I write to seek a way to be understood. I have lived an isolated life, hidden under folds of fat and I feel like Rapunzel in her tower; the real me never seen. I write so that someday people will get to see parts of me through my work, will appreciate my take on things and, with hope, be as interested in my works as I am. Books have given me so much pleasure, opening worlds and doors to me that I have been unable to travel to in reality. I hope that one day my works will give other people that escape, entertainment and enthusiasm that I have been given by countless authors.

Why do I write? Put simply because I can.

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