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In a society where "personal choice" seems to be one of the more important aspects of life, it seems foreign to most of us that arranged marriages ever occurred, much less still occur. Still, there are many societies and cultures in the world today that rely on this practice, especially in the Middle East, Asia and Africa. It is difficult for those of us who have never had to experience life in these cultures to understand, and accept, the reasoning behind arranged marriage, and while I believe that the tradition is definitely outdated in relation to life in the United States, I also understand why this tradition still lives in other areas.

When most of us think of arranged marriage, we get a picture of Medieval kings using their daughters and sons as tools in creating peace and unification of kingdoms. These unions were really formed with little thought of personal feelings and more of an extended partnership of sorts with neighboring nations; while parents were not examining the welfare of their children directly, they were, in essence making these decisions for the betterment of all involved. Looking at arranged marriages in today's world, they are really not that far away from those in years passed. Many families "marry off" their daughters for money to support the rest of their children, and in many cases to give their daughters a better chance in life.

Picture a struggling family in Africa with a daughter of marrying age. There are six other children in the family younger than her, and if she doesn't wed, her life will be spent working in her poor village. Now imagine that there is a wealthy man in another part of the world who is looking for a wife, he agrees to pay the family a "dowry" of sorts for their daughter and she will have a chance to become educated, live comfortably and experience the finer parts of life...while on one hand it sounds archaic, on the other it sounds like a good decision.

Sadly, the problem with arranged marriage is that in most cases it becomes synonymous with "loveless marriage". Two people who are not in love with one another are hard pressed, especially in this day and age, to create an enjoyable union. What seemed like a good idea most often turns in to a situation where abuse, neglect, sadness and heartache hangs like a shroud over the heads of all involved. Even though having an arranged marriage might better ones situation or unify a family in the beginning, in the end it most often results in hidden contempt, directed not only to ones betrothed, but also to ones own family.

So, while the idea of arranged marriage is one that can be contemplated and somewhat understood in relation to certain cultures, traditions and situations, in the end, one must truly consider the ramifications involved. While the betterment of a situation, or the unification of a family, sounds like a reason to simply maintain a "stiff upper lip" in terms of a persons personal feelings, nothing really outweighs the manifestation of sadness and lovelessness associated with this tradition.

Learn more about this author, Sarah Williams.
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