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Forgiveness is a hard thing to do. Many people experience times in their life where they need to be able to forgive to move on, but get stuck in the sorrow that brought them to where they are now. I should know...I went through it myself.

I've needed to forgive my parents for all the suffering they caused me. My father molested me for years and did so in front of others to see what he could get away with. It was a game to him. One that caused me humiliation, severe trauma, and a feeling of mistrust that will never die! He took advantage of my innocence every chance he got. He would touch me at the Doctors office, in the park, at Disneyland, at a party, on the street...It didn't matter to him. It aroused him and he liked doing it to me. My mother was aware of what was taking place, but her best defense was to ignore it and blame me. She would say things like, "I don't want to hear it you little whore!" Her words would make me cry and feel ashamed of who I was. For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me. What did I do to deserve this?

But I've learned two things, after years of therapy, and reading articles similar to my circumstances, that what happened to me was not my fault and forgiveness is a big part of healing. You must be able to confront your demons in order to move on. Become comfortable with the fact that this happened, it was not your fault and you are a better person for dealing with it, instead of ignoring it. We all have our fears, our idiosyncrasies, but none of us have to put up with someone assaulting us, molesting us, or denying us our rights, not even as a child. It's written in the heavens (I'm sure of it!). Never give up on you! And don't forget to forgive and move on.

I live a very productive life now....and I have forgiven the parents who mistreated and abused me.

Learn more about this author, Nancy Tigchelaar.
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