by Barry Williams

Created on: January 17, 2008   Last Updated: February 26, 2012

Three animals lined up to be injected with a new drug to test whether or not it shriveled their testicles . Some drug company was diversifying into the underwear business and thought they could save on cloth when making mens' underpants. Equally exciting was the sister research teams' endeavors to test another drug that would not only restore testicles to their former size once underpants were removed but also in some cases actually increase the size of the penis as well.Oddly enough the later research team was mainly comprised of women. The former team was mainly comprised of men morbidly concerned with shriveling testicles.

The first animal to be tested was a mouse. As you can imagine a mouse's testicles are rather small anyway and mice do not wear underpants so, to me , the whole exercise seemed pointless. However the men in the team had to get some idea of the effects of the drug. Needless to say that the drug was so effective that not only did the poor mouse's testicles shrivel but they also turned a very nasty black and actually fell off. The results were quickly passed on to the sister research team who were equally disappointed at not having a subject to test their drug on. It seems they weren't even interested in seeing if the drug did in fact increase the size of the mouse's penis if he didn't have the testicles as well. They were of the opinion that although mice breed like rabbits ,they weren't interested in birth control research for the moment.

The second animal to be tested was a dog. Again the underpants issue was of no great drama. Some pet owners ,but only a few, make clothes for their dogs but really the demand for dogs' pants doesn't justify the expense and effort of trying to establish a market . This time when the drug was injected only one of the dog's testicles turned an ugly black color before dropping off. The other testicle also turned black but stayed attached. Unfortunately it shriveled up so much that when the sister team had a look they said they didn't have anywhere near enough of their drug to restore the dog's testicle to its former size. Again they dismissed the idea of trying out their drug to see if it would increase the size of the dog's penis. They reasoned that no self respecting bitch would be interested in any dog with only one black shriveled testicle no matter what size his penis was.

The third animal to be tested was a fifty year old man who needed money to support his drug habit and volunteered when he heard that

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