The main reason that I am still single is because I don't want a relationship at this point in my life. Many of my friends think that I am afraid of a relationship, and that I am merely making excuses or avoiding it altogether. I have been in bad relationships, as well as good ones, and the same goes with break-ups. Some bad, some good, but doesn't that come with the territory? I enjoy being single, and I always have.

Some people don't feel like they are their whole selves until they are indeed one half of a relationship. I feel the opposite, I feel as if they take something away from me. I think that the cons of being married, or dating heavily outweigh the pro's. I have things that I need to do for myself in my life before I devote my time and energy into someone else. I think it would be unfair of me to dive into anything that I am not ready for.

Plus, I am picky. They say this is a sub conscience thing, and the perfect reason to avoid any type of commitment. I say I am just picky. Indeed I am. I think that if I were to have a relationship, in any way, shape or form, it would have to be everything that I dream or expect it to be. The chances of that happening is quite slim. I am attracted to a certain 'type' if man. He has to catch my eye, he has to be smart, successful, mature, good-looking, and he must carry himself well. I figure if I have been this long without a real, true relationship, I better not settle for anything less than what I want. My tall, dark haired gentleman with blue eyes is hard enough to find, let alone one who is unattached already. I just haven't met that guy that I absolutely can not live without. Or at least, I haven't dated him. If I found him, I am sure that I would rethink my decisions.

I have made a commitment to myself of goals that I want to accomplish. And I know that if I were in a relationship those goals would get put on the back burner. I am not ready to sacrifice one dream for another, that isn't fair. I would rather work hard at accomplishing myself before I do it for someone else. I don't have it in me to play games, or argue over semantics, or compromise over trivial matters. In addition to that, I am just not interested in the 'am I ready for kids' discussion. Who knows, fate may not have true love in the cards for me. Perhaps the one that belongs to me lives on another plane.

I have to love myself before I decide that I can love anyone else. Finding someone that will mirror my expectations of the man that I want would be great, but so far it has not even come close to happening. I love my solitude, and I am proud of my independence, and a relationship would take those things that I consider the best of me away. If the best of me is gone, what else is there to love? My creativity will be stunted, my 'me time' will be compressed, and I would have a whole new set of obligations. I already have a job, a relationship to me is the equivalent of such. Why am I still single? Because I love it.

Learn more about this author, Shawna Blake.
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