by Moe Zilla

Created on: January 17, 2008   Last Updated: January 21, 2009

Asking someone for a date is already awkward enough for both of you! You don't want to come off as a creepy obsessive dreaming up complicated schemes. But with some creativity, you can arrange some time together in a way that's easy, comfortable, and even fun!

Everyone gets a little nervous when facing possible rejection, but in a lot of cases it's not the way you ask the date but simply whether you're brave enough to make the approach. Here's some creative tricks and strategies that will make it easier.

My first rule for dating comes from a senior I idolized in high school who gave me some great advice. "Don't use the word date." It just adds pressure and awkwardness, for both the person asking and the person being asked!

* Honesty. Never underestimate the power of sincerity. Divulge when you first got the idea of asking for the date, and what it was that made you interested. This runs the risk of "coming on too strong," so try to focus some of it on your own story - "I was so nervous... I didn't know if you were seeing someone..."

* Disguise it as an invitation. You can graciously suggest something like "My friend loaned me his motorcycle this weekend - would you like to try it out?" or "We're going to the game. Would you like to come?" This puts you in a good light - without making you seem desperate!

* Describe it as a favor. For example, "Do you need a place to watch the game Saturday?" Even if this doesn't work, it indicates your interest in a date - and if the feeling is mutual, they might even offer their own hints about another opportunity.

* The fake bet. This is so corny it's hard to pull off, but that's part of its charm. If you're already in a conversation, pretend to be surprised by a piece of trivia, to the point of disagreeing. Then say "I'll bet you're wrong. If I lose, I'll buy you dinner." When you're inevitably proven wrong, there's still the chance that your dinner invitation will be declined - but you've still won, since you've found a completely painless way to ask.

* Act like you're sharing information. (Examples: "I know a place with the best pizza..." or "You'll really want to see this movie...") This is a nice, low-key approach, and it strikes up a conversation while keeping things casual.

There's such a thing as "trying too hard" - so these low-pressure techniques are much more effective. But there's an important caveat. A lot of "tricks" for asking for a date succeed not because of the trick itself, but because it gives you the confidence to ask for the date in the first place! Armed with a plan, you're ready to give the conversation your best shot - and someday you'll realize that it's you, yourself, which is your best argument for a chance to get to know each other.

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