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Your vision of everlasting matrimony has recently been shattered by the impact of divorce.
Never in a million years did you think a love, once so profound, would falter, resulting in the dissolution of your marriage. But it was, and now your left to pick up the pieces and somehow find your way through the throbbing pain of it all.

Divorce can expose those raw nerve-endings you weren't even aware existed within your being. A vast array of painful emotions are suddenly flowing through your veins. The feelings of anger, frustration, abandonment, sadness, and among other feelings, guilt. Who would have thought you could be stung with so many emotions at once?

With the blur of so much pain looming through your nervous system, it may seem that healing from this life altering event is unapproachable. The good news is, you can heal if you're willing to allow for it and begin to open yourself up to the healing process.

Coping with the fact that your marriage has been dissolved, and cutting the intimate ties between you and your spouse, is the first stage in healing. At this point it doesn't matter who's "fault" it was. It's time to forgive and move forward. Whether it is forgiving yourself or your now ex, it is imperative that you do so. Carrying guilt or harboring anger will only serve as an anchor, preventing you from experiencing a new and healthy life.

Giving hope to each new day will give you the strength to weather the storm of emotions. The strength required to persevere. In other words, give yourself permission to be happy.

*Get Mobile - Stray from your humble home and take some time to exhale. Although you may feel lifeless, you are still quite conscious. Think about a place you've been or would like to go that gives you a feeling of pleasure, and head out the door. You deserve it.

*Straight Talk - Open up to an adult with a lending ear. Someone you trust as being non-judgmental. If you don't have a friend or family member who is approachable, you might consider seeking out a counselor. Either way it's important to get those feelings off your chest and not keep them buried in the chasm of your soul.

*Children? - There's a good chance they too may need to talk out their emotions. Be a good listener and set-up counseling for them as well if you feel they need it. Make every effort though, to not put them in the middle or bad-mouth your ex in their presence.

*Scribe - People underestimate the healing power of writing. Get a journal if you don't already have one, and write about your feelings. It can be poetry, prose, or both. You just might be amazed at what transpires as you log your confessions.

*Empower YOU - It takes time to recuperate from losing yourself in the manifestation of divorce, but underneath it all is the authentic you. Give YOU the permission and freedom to blossom once again. Let go of shame and blame. Take ownership in the true worthiness and compunction of what lies so genuinely in your living-breathing self, then commit to loving that identity.

Overall, re-living the whys and what-ifs is like swimming in the middle of the ocean with a cinder block tied to your ankle. You're sure to drowned emotionally. To heal from the pain of divorce you must vow to not be a victim, but a survivor instead.

Learn more about this author, Tonya Barton.
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