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Unfortunately, there is no sure fire way to handle "dealing with dead beat parents". One must first clearly identify what they want to achieve before they begin the process. Whether you're just seeking revenge, emotional healing, financial support, or shared custody - you have to decide upfront. Clearly defining the reason for "dealing" with this person sets the stage for which path you'll take thereafter.

The road most traveled when "dealing with dead beat parents" is, of course, Child Support Boulevard. On this road, it is very possible that one may reach their destination of directly deposited funds in record speed. But for the majority who frequent this congested highway, expect major delays, traffic jams, detours and dead ends.

Many factors that are considered before a financial decision can be made. There is no cut and dry formula that will guarantee you a certain amount of money each week. Depending on the circumstances, geographic, demographics, etc., each individual's outcome may be very different. The key, however, is consistent self-advocacy. Once you've started the process, don't stop. Be sure not to miss one preliminary conference, hearing or court date. When attending an appointment, always come prepared with current pay stubs and expenses including childcare, medical expenses, insurance premiums, football uniforms, dance shoes etc. You always have to remember that this is court and you are here to prove something. In the perfect world, our hopes would be that the absent parent would automatically want to share equally in their child's financial well-being, but they don't. So, it's up to you to prove that you need help and that the absent parent should be made to help you.

In a real life example, a mother has two open cases for child support filed within the same time frame. One is an out-of-state case and one is local. Her monthly expenses, bills, family size and income are reported the same for each case, but her experiences and orders of support are finalized very different. The out-of-state case from Ohio was concluded in a fair amount of time and the mother was awarded $248 for one child. The Pennsylvania case was concluded in record time and she was awarded $757 for one child. Why is that? The children were both in daycare, and the expenses to care for them were basically the same. So why the huge difference? Bottom line is there could be tons of reasons why. There are federally mandated guidelines for child support nation-wide, but there are also many variations in the laws and requirements for each state. Not to mention, the income of the absent parent and his/her expenses have to be factored into the equation as well. So, you can never tell from one person to the next what the final outcome will be. You just have to be committed to move through the process until you are satisfied.

Also very common, are those instances when a parent will never be satisfied with their order of support. You have the right to appeal, request an increase, or even hire an attorney but you may never be financially satisfied with your order. In these instances, you may have to make a decision to just stop "dealing with the dead beat parent" and start "dealing" with yourself and your children. Eventually, over time, this wears down on you and your children. This is not to say stop seeking financial assistance from the absent parent, but when the road has ended or there is no other outlet, make a u-turn and seek direction from within. You nor the court will be able to change a dead beat parent, but you can certainly make changes in your own life to ensure you and your children are okay. Peace of mind is often more rewarding than any punishment the courts can offer those dead beats.

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