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In a nutshell, this article can be summed up by stating "you can't." But, since one sentence does not make an article I feel that the need to elaborate is very evident.

My mother told me a lot of things over the years, parents tend to do that whether they think we are listening or not, and when we grow up and become adults ourselves with the spouse, 2.5 kids, picket fence and the obedient dog we realize that some of what our parents said stuck with us and was, in fact, little lessons in life. In relation to this article she told me years ago "you can't change people." After dating a slew of bad boyfriends I was told this tidbit of advice. It was further emphasized by the knowledge that if someone has certain traits that exist in their personality DNA, those traits will in all likelihood expand or evolve after marriage. Something about that little paper certificate that makes a person feel as if they have rights, control, and power. No longer can a person just

break-up" but you have to "break-up" in an adult way which entails legal issues and court rooms and lots of paperwork. So a person better know who they are marrying.

However, that is in the extreme and done when a spouse feels they cannot change their spouse and no longer wants to try. Changing people to adapt to us is, I believe, Human Nature and even though we know we can't change someone we're going to try. Divorcing over the brand of dish soap used in the house is probably not one of the best reasons to divorce. But, if it has become an issue (and trust me, small topics like that can become heated issues) there is 1 thing that needs to be done: someone needs to change.

This, ironically, is called "Compromise" but that is a nice word that cleverly disguises the true meaning: someone is losing this argument." If I do the dishes, I should be buying whatever brand I want. However, my husband is under the impression that certain dish soap does not work as well as others (I'll have to admit, that it could be sheer laziness and carelessness on my part so bless him for blaming the dish soap). I personally could care less what dish soap is used and in a pinch I will use shampoo if I have to. So, we compromised. Even though I do the dishes I don't care about brands, if he wants to use a certain brand so be it.

However, when it comes to cooking in the kitchen I have ultimate power, like a Super Villain. Sure, the family can request meals, but I told my family that if no one is willing to help cook then I am cooking

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