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Blogger Proof Workout

Have you noticed that your butt is becoming a numb membrane of lipid filled tissue that fits ever so nicely into that comfy chair you spend countless hours in? If so you may be in need of my Blogger Proof Workout. Bloggers spend numerous hours creating content to feed the ever hungry internet and information world. Unfortunately that process entails tons of sitting and limited physical movement. So bloggers and couch potatoes alike unite to take 15 minutes a day to squeeze in a self-improvement break. Follow this quick and very manageable routine and see your blogging productivity increase. Yes, I did say increase. Endorphins are known productivity boosters. Endorphins spur us on with positive chemistry and a natural high that blesses us with clean energy. I call crash free energy, clean energy, because it does not need the help of Red Bull drinks.

Blogger Proof Workout:

1. Take the chair that you sit on and squat with it. Yes use that fart catcher to jump start the routine. "So how do I squat with a chair?" you may ask. Well it's simple genius! Lift the chair of the ground and hold it in front of your body and go at it. The light chair will soon feel heavy if you perform the movement in this manner. Isometrics at its best, sorta like holding bags of groceries in a static position. And I thought you were some super smart blogger or something.
CHAIR TOSS SQUATS
3 SETS OF 12 REPS (PERFORMED AT A QUICK PACE, 30 SECONDS REST BETWEEN SETS)

2. Now you think you're tough huh? Well here's part deux. Take that chair, I'm sure you two have become acquainted with each other by now, and hold it front of you of the ground in the same static position and start walking. Walk with chair back and forth no matter how large or small your workspace. Shoot for 40 trips. If you feel strong add a forward pressing movement and combine that with an overhead press.
WEIRDO WALKING WITH CHAIR ROUTINE
40 TRIPS, WITH PRESSES IF DESIRED

3. Don't you feel like the scum of the Earth with all your emails and communication devices? Okay maybe that was a little harsh, and Kaczynski like also. But even you can admit we are all too bogged down with sissy devices so let's pay the fine. A penalty in physical activity. Every time you receive an email you must perform 25 pushups (yes junk mail counts), even if takes you weaklings two sets to do so, the fine must be paid! If you send an email, oh you filthy thing, you must perform 35 pushups. A received phone call on your cell phone is 20 pushups and if you make a cell phone call the penalty is 30(any one with an I-phone add 10 pushups please) any phone calls over 3 and a half minutes whether received or dialed are 45 pushups. That'll teach you, you techno-wizard geckazoid!
PAYING THE PIPER, OF INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY THE RULES
Received email: 25 pushups
Sent email: 35 pushups
Received cell phone call: 20 pushups
Dialed cell phone call: 30
Calls over 3 and half minutes: 45 pushups
Cap this workout off with three glasses of water! Happy blogging fatties!

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