by N. A. Hernandez

Created on: January 16, 2008

Divorce is not easy for anyone, and for the one that does not want the divorce it can be extremely difficult. Just hearing that your spouse wants a divorce can be shocking and heart wrenching! You may begin to bargain with them promising to fix things and change any flaws that he/she may see in you. If your spouse is insistent then there is little you can do to stop them from leaving.

So many thoughts may be filling up in your mind, such as this can not be happening to me, or they can't leave me, we can work things out, etc. etc. If they are unwilling to stick around and try to fix the relationship then realize that hey are not worthy of you. Perhaps you took your vows seriously and they did not!

It is a sad statistic that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce, so you are surely NOT alone. It is a very emotional and draining experience to go through and when the divorce is not wanted on your part, it can be overwhelming. There are things that you can do to try and keep your head up and realize that you are worthy of someone to truly love you for who you are and not give up on the relationship.

Here are some helpful tips to help you move on from an unwanted divorce and come out of it knowing you are worthy of better and greater things.

* ASK WHY *

Simply ask your spouse why they are asking for a divorce and see if you can fix it before it is to late. However if they are insistent that they want to separate then there is little you can do. Allow them to know that you are hurting and you want answers. You are entitled to that and they should offer you answers! If they are not willing to talk to you directly about things then ask them to write you a letter explaining the reasons so that you can move on. They owe you an explanation and try to make sure you get one so you are left wondering why the marriage ended for years to come. Having them write it out in a letter may give them more freedom to be open and honest without fear of you breaking down in front of them.

* ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS *

Suppressing your emotions will only bite you in the end. They will eventually catch up to you and you will be left to deal with them at a later date. You need to let them out and allow yourself to grieve. If you are worried about how others will react wait until you are alone and allow yourself to have a good cry to release your emotions. Write down your feelings in a journal to help yourself be able to express yourself. Even simply writing is a great activity

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