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Should you be friends first or jump into dating?

by Y Tian

Created on: January 15, 2008

Everybody would have dreamed of falling madly and wildly in love and for those that were lucky (or unlucky) enough to have had such a relationship, they would agree that the experience was wonderful and exhilarating. During the highlights of the relationship, you feel unbeatable, unbelievably lucky to have landed the man or lady of your dreams and most importantly, loved. But once you get over that high and stopped seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses, you realize that life with your boyfriend or girlfriend is not as perfect as you had hoped it to be.

So should you be friends first before jumping into dating? Absolutely.

By being friends with your prospective soul mate allows you to ensure that you two have enough common interests so that you would always enjoy the times you spent together. While that seems very cold-heartedly calculated and unromantic, the truth is, it is absolutely sensible. You might have fallen for this gorgeous guy or chick whom you were dying to go out with but after the first few exhilarating dates, you had no idea what to converse about. Trust me, it's not fun and in the end, highly disappointing. It's better aiming for having a good time every time rather than a short spark that has the visibility span of a shooting star.

Being friends first also ensures that you are not blinded to all his or her bad qualities by love/lust. When you fancy yourself liking someone, you are confident that you can see past all their faults to the person within. But once you've hang out with him or her, you might begin to discover that you can't stand them. What then? It's better to be friends, discover their faults earlier on without all the illusions of grandeur and save yourself the disappointment later on.

I know I sound very cynical but trust me, it's better to become friends first. That way you will know why you had fallen in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend and thus, love him/her more because of it. Wild romantic flings are admittedly exhilarating, but once the spark is out, what is left?

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