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If you must communicate with your ex after the divorce then there are ways that you can remain civil, calm and not have mixed emotions surrounding your ex. It may be hard in the beginning to deal with your ex, but if you take the steps to help heal yourself from the pain of the divorce, it can be done. No matter what caused the divorce or who asked for it is not relevant anymore once the divorce is final. If children are involved then you will have to deal with your ex for years and years to come. Even when your child hits the age 18 you still have to hear about your ex and even see them at some events.

To make it easier on all of those involved with the marriage and the divorce it is vital that you heal yourself before worrying about hurting your ex. If it is to hard for you to talk to them in the beginning do it over the phone only. Seeing them in person may only complicate things even more! Here are some tips for communicating with your ex....

* TALK TO YOUR EX OVER THE PHONE *

When you talk over the phone it is easier to deal with your emotions. If you start getting mad about something you can simply think up an excuse to get off the phone. Rather in person you are stuck looking at each other and it is cause for more conflict. Avoiding seeing your ex spouse eye to eye can also help you not have thoughts about the past and see them as your spouse again. Things are more likely to get messier when the two of you are talking in person.

* KNOW WHEN TO END THE CONVERSATION *

Unlike when the two of you were married it is important that you learn when to back off. He doe not owe you any explanations anymore unless it has to do with your children. It may be hard to accept but they are no longer a big part of your life and the two of you are moving on with your lives separately. If your ex is emotionally closed off to you they have their own reasons and perhaps they are working on them. It is going to take time for the two of you to get used to a new way to communicate with each other, so give it time.

* FORGIVE *

This of course is the toughest thing to do. It can be so hard to forgive but it is the best thing that you can do. Holding on to the past and harping on all the bad that the two of you went thorough is not going to help you move on and live your life to its fullest. Forgiving can help you manage your emotions and handle yourself a lot better then if you are still holding onto hurt feeling and issues you two shared. It will take time to get over the hurt, but give

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