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After a divorce: Dating and your children

Mom and Dad are divorced. Chances are little Billy and Sally aren't going to be thrilled. When it comes time for one or the other of you to begin dating again, there WILL be rebellion. Count on it.

It's normal for kids to hold out hope that their parents will reconcile. Once you feel you are ready to date, sit the children down and explain to them your plan. Try to help them to see that you are seeking companionship, not a replacement for their other parent. They may not like the idea, but you have opened the lines of communication.

Keep the dating simple. Not a good idea to start dating 5 nights a week at first. Your kids still need time with you as well. Keep the dating low key and chances are if you don't make a big deal out of it, neither will the children. After some time, if you bring a steady date home to meet the children, make the first visit short.

If your children ask about your dates, be honest, but keep it simple. If you have become romantically involved, spare them the details! If and when you find a new love interest, they have to be slowly integrated into your children's lives.

Keep in mind that if you become fond of someone, and start to date one person regularly, your children WILL rebel. These little angels will become absolute demons to make trouble between you and your new interest. Remember that children ALWAYS hold out hope of you and your former spouse getting back together! This may be a little easier if you have maintained a strong relationship with the kids, and also with their other parent. Hopefully, your ex will accept you're dating, which helps the kids do the same.

Nothing about Divorce is easy. There will be rough spots to get through once you start to date again, but give your kids the love and support they need and things will go much easier. Never accept the ultimatum of your dating, or your children, from either side of the issue! It's tough, but kids need to learn that Mom (or Dad) has to go on with their lives as well.

Keep your support group close! You may want to bounce things off your friends, but remember that how you handle this situation is going to be completely up to you. Chances are many of your friends have been through this process. Some of them may have handled it well, others, not so much, but they all may have valuable advise to give.

Most importantly, continue to let your kids know that you love them. Even if things get rough, and they very well may. Let your kids know you are there for them, but that you need to take care of yourself as well. Now, go out there and have some fun!

Learn more about this author, Veronica Bright.
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