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We have all walked past the checkout stands littered with headlines like, "Is Your Man a Cheat?" or "How to Spot a Liar.". Headlines meant to catch our eye and instill us with a healthy level of doubt and fear about our own relationships. And while it may feel uncomfortable for us to question something as sacred as the matrimonial bond it is important. With questions come answers they say.

But which questions do we ask? When do we ask them? And at what point do we go beyond our own investigations and veer into the dangerous territory of confrontation? We can never know for sure, but there are telltale signs. Odd things that just don't add up that can lead us down this thorny path.

We all know the clich's, the usual ways the cheating spouse gets caught. A stray credit card charge to a cushy spa, a crumpled love note in the pocket, or the ever popular lipstick on the collar. Loose ends carelessly left open, betraying an otherwise master plan.

But as is the case with most of the suspicion you will feel and the questions you will ask yourself, or (eek) your spouse you must first ask this, "are they capable of this?". You will know the answer best if you know your spouse best, and folks look at your spouse, are they really capable of a master plan? Probably not, and yet an affair takes a startling level of planning and calculation because the last thing an adulterer wants is to be caught. They may not be masterminds but they're not likely careless either.

Besides in this era of technological wonder, when so many things have become quicker and easier why would one think that adultery would be left in the dark ages? Spa's sell gift cards, email and text messages have replaced the paper love note and are easily erasable, and even smear proof lipstick has made the laundry room evidence free. So in the absence of obvious clues we must look inward. But not just at our spouse, we must look at ourselves, and our own view of the relationship.

Happiness has a lot to do with infidelity, as the spouse may be seeking something he or she is not getting at home, and that doesn't always just mean sex. In a report in the "Journal of Family Psychology", Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobson found that those "who reported that their relationships were "pretty happy" and "not too happy" were two and four times more likely, respectively, to have reported extramarital sex than respondents who reported that they were "very happy" with their relationships". Now happiness can be a fluid thing, good

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