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Achieving sense perception in fiction writing

inside the label of a new article of clothing. A good writer is able to capture the reader's attention through the use of all five senses that feed the imagination and allow the reader to enter the story.

IV. From Nondescript to Sensual

Consider this unremarkable narrative and notice that, while it might be grammatically correct, it lacks luster and imagination.

"The youngish girl sat in the corner looking either lonely or bored. She didn't make a move to get involved in any of the activities going on in the room. No one approached her either. This was probably because of the expression on her face. When I looked into her eyes, I couldn't look away. She seemed standoffish and yet lonely. I think she wanted someone to care about her."

In these few sentences, all of the basic information is given and yet no empathy is likely to be engendered for the main character in the story. This piece is not written in a way that will allow the reader to see or feel the young woman's emotional pain. There is no connection made between the character and the reader. Now consider this rewrite of the same content.

"At first glance, she was just one of perhaps twenty other teens who were hanging out on a Friday night. As I panned the room, my eyes met hers and I found myself captivated by something I saw there. Her eyes, dark pools that at first glance might have been described as cold and brooding, looked hungry. Something wasn't right. As I continued to stare at her, like a psychic force she hurled an unspoken message from across the room. I might have easily dismissed her as just another trouble maker had it not been for those eyes. They hypnotized even as they challenged me to dare to approach. Such a haughty face and yet beneath her carefully calculated expression, she pled with raw desperation for me to break through her carefully constructed indifference. This kid needed someone to care before it was too late. I could be that someone."

Now a connection has been established between the author of this piece and the main character. The writer will poignantly draw his reader into the shared experience of his encounter with this main character as he uses his senses to describe what he has seen and felt. Although the primary sense employed in this piece is that of sight, you can feel this young girl's emotional pain and sense the conflict inside of her. She is desperate to be loved; but conditioned by countless rejections to keep her barriers high, protecting herself from being


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Achieving sense perception in fiction writing

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    by Mike Klaassen

    Sensation is the fiction-writing mode for portraying a character's perception of the senses. Authors are often encouraged

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  • 2 of 3

    by Elton Gahr

    Using the five senses in your writing is vital to creating a sense of reality in your stories, but while these are things

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    by Dr. Deborah Bauers

    Writing with the Senses

    I. A World without Senses

    Imagine trying to tell about the world around you without being able to

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