by Kira Te'for

Created on: January 14, 2008

I myself was never a confident child and not a particularly confident adult either, and I often find myself saying to people "I have no idea how my children got so confident!".
But when I really think about it, I realise that there are so many things that we do every day that help or hinder the raising of a confident child.

Firstly a child must feel loved and secure. If there is no doubt in a child's mind that they are loved no matter what and will always have their place in the family and in the world, then they have no need to be worried about what others are going to think or about looking silly or about what they say or do. Be positive, hug them and tell them that you love them every day this will not only build their confidence, but build a strong and lasting relationship with you.

I firmly believe that children also need appropriate boundaries and discipline. Believe it or not, this actually helps children feel secure, and prevents confidence from turning into undesirable behavior. If children are not given boundaries and appropriate discipline they find themselves in a world where they are the boss and as children this becomes disconcerting, as they are in a position where they are clearly not meant to be.

Thirdly, I believe that knowledge is big factor in confidence. Even as a very small child, children will constantly as questions. This can get very tiring and after a while you will probably just want to tell them to stop asking so many questions! But when they do get to this stage, answer the questions, even if the kids don't really understand the answer. You will be surprised at how much they take in and you may find them talking to their sibling or another adult about why the sky is blue, or how a car works!

Obviously children have different personalities, but I do believe these things which are really just things you do every day, can help a child whether introvert or extrovert, to become a confident child.

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