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Becoming a parent signals the start of a huge change in your life. Before your baby is born you are looking forward to welcoming a new child into the world. And it is for most people the greatest moment of their life. But once you get your son or daughter home, life gets a whole lot more complicated. The dirty nappies, the feeds in the middle of the night, the crying for no apparent reason. It is no easy task, particularly the first few years.

Nobody can fully prepare you for what is to come once the baby arrives. The best anyone can do is offer support. It is all very well deciding how you are going to tackle situation when they arise - reality is very different. You will be tired, at the end of your tether, low and so on. All the advice you are given before the birth goes out the window. You react spontaneously to each event.

If you receive training on how to deal with a certain situation, you will not be reacting as a parent. You will be more robotic. Nobody can prepare you for the way your child behaves. Each child is an individual with its own behavior pattern. There is no correct way to do things. As parents, we mostly have maternal and paternal instincts. We want the best for our offspring and nature has a miraculous way of equipping us with the talents to bring up our children correctly. Of course we make mistakes - we are after all only human. But to tell try to train a person in the correct way to deal with a situation could be a hindrance. You will have all sorts of emotions and thoughts going through your mind, which will be clustered with the training tips. You will not make decisions based on your snap analysis of what is happening. Life should not be regimented. We learn on the hoof.

Of course we can learn from other, more experienced people. It is helpful to have tips on what we are likely to face. It is a good idea to exchange your views with other people in a similar situation, to find out how they react. But to train someone in the art of disciplining children seems to me to be going too far and almost removing the human element to bringing up our children.

Learn more about this author, Phil Hill.
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