by I. Michael Akbar

Created on: January 12, 2008

Even if you have survived your divorced and have the papers to prove it, there may be still be big adjustments needed before you feel comfortable being single again. There are several things you might consider doing to help smooth your transition back to single life. Let's take a look at a few of them.

REDISCOVER YOURSELF

Did you at one time enjoy nature photography, or dream of learning to make your own clothes? One reason a marriage may have become unfulfilling is the feeling that you somehow have lost your identity in the marriage. You may have curtailed hobbies or other fulfilling activities that once brought you much personal satisfaction. Now is the time to rediscover some of the things that make you - you. Go back to college and finish a degree or just take classes in an area of interest to you. Pick up your hobby again, making sure to set aside time to really delve into it. Use the time once spent on your marriage to focus on yourself.

MEET NEW FRIENDS

Many of your associations while you were married were friends you had in common with your ex-spouse; maybe they were married couples themselves. Being around these old friends shortly after your divorce can sometimes create awkward situations. While there is certainly no reason to break all ties with these friends, you may want to develop new friendships that don't remind you of the relationship that you just left or that don't make you wonder whose "side" they were on. Be active about making friendships; don't just wait for people to jump into your living room and introduce themselves. Join groups or clubs or become actively involved in a charitable organization.

DON'T RUSH INTO DATING

Some therapists suggest a minimum of one year after your divorce is final before dating again. When you are ready to date, you still may want to take any relationship slowing before becoming intimate or even moving in with a new partner. You want to avoid at all cost the idea of just finding a warm body to fill the void left by your divorce. Make sure that you are once again comfortable with yourself and your life before sharing it with someone else. It's only fair to you and the other person. If your new friend is truly a friend, they will understand and accept the wait.

PLAN FOR YOUR FUTURE

Make sure you get control of your finances. The divorce may have taken care of dividing everything between you and your ex, but divorce procedures do nothing for putting your finances back together. Get a copy of your credit report and find

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