A few months ago i was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, have you ever heard of it? I certainly hadn't. It's known as The Invisible Illness because there are no outward signs of it. Inside though it is a different story.

I have had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and depression for many years, and more recently, thyroid problems, along with trouble sleeping my entire life. These are just a few of the symptoms. The first sign that i had something else to contend with happened during a bonfire procession, after walking a few miles while drumming. There was a terrible pain in my lower back at first, which rapidly spread across my whole body, and by the end of the march I was in agony and exhausted.

As I was used to walking long distances without any problems, I went to see my doctor. He did many blood tests and asked me to return when the results came back. When I saw him he did something very odd. He told me to stand up, and then prodded me all over. Many of the places he prodded hurt a lot, and it turned out that these were recognised sensitive spots for Fibromyalgia.

After reading about it I discovered that I had other symptoms too:
Weak painful muscles
Headaches
Depression
IBS
Bad sleep patterns
Anxiety
Morning stiffness
Chronic fatigue
Poor memory
Lack of concentration

I was even more surprised to discover I am now classed as disabled, as I have always been an active person. There is no cure for this, all I can do is take painkillers, though fortunately it is not fatal.

As I sleep badly through the night, I often catch up on it during the morning. However to the people who ran a training course i attended, it looked like i could not be bothered to get up. Sometimes the pain is so bad that walking even a short distance is agony, so I now take a walking stick with me most of the time. Even when I'm not in pain, because Fibro makes your muscles very weak, I take a stick in case they give out on me. You should have seen the looks I got when I ran for a bus one day!

The odd thing about Fibro is, that it varies a lot from day to day. One day I am too tired to get out of bed before lunchtime, and not able to climb the four flights of stairs down to my letterbox. Another day I have energy to walk into town. One day I have to push myself upright with my stick at every step, whereas another day I might walk well without one.

Because of this, I am sometimes made to feel like a fraud, as though I fake it. This is very distressing and makes it even harder to deal with. When friends ask me out and I tell them I'm too tired to go, they think I can't be bothered. If they hear that I'm sometimes in bed all morning they assume I'm lazy. I'm not and it hurts to know that people think of me that way.

Some days I can think clearly, at other times it's like my brain is lost in a fog and everything is too hard to sort out. The only people who really understand are other sufferers and I have been very lucky to find a local support group. Without their help and support life would be a whole lot harder.

Learn more about this author, Gill Hamper.
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