by varsity

Created on: January 11, 2008   Last Updated: March 31, 2009

There is not a day in my life that I do not struggle as a single parent. There are days that I just feel like giving up, but what would happen to my children if I did? Who in this world would love them enough to provide for them and show them the love that only a mother can? Who would sacrifice their own needs to give to my children? The answer to all of this is I do not know. It is a sad reality in my life, but it is true.

I have been a single parent for six years and believe me when I say that it is the hardest job that I have ever had. I did not expect my life to turn out this way. To me, marriage was forever, until death do us part. Unfortunately my ex-husband decided that he no longer wanted a wife and family and decided to direct his life in a different manner, drugs. I could not and would not tolerate this around me and the children, so we left.
It has been hard picking up the pieces of my broken home. First I had to find a place to live and get a job. I stayed with my mother for a year, that was very trying, not only for me and the children, but also my mother, who enjoys being alone. I then moved to my father's home. By this time I had a job and a little money in the bank. I bought a car and then a mobile home and put it on my father's property.

I get up at five every morning, get the children dressed for school and then get myself ready for work. I am a waitress. We do not have a lot of extra money and it breaks my heart when one of my children tells me that they want something that is really expensive, because I can not give this to them. If I buy an item for one, I have to buy for all.

I save every dime that I can to provide for my children. They understand now that I cannot afford to give them the things that they want, but they are satisfied with the fact that they have what they need. Each of them was given gift cards for Christmas from various relatives on their father's side. They still have not used them, saying that they will save them until they find something that they really need.

My ex-husband has not been in their lives and most of the time refuses to pay child support, so in return, I struggle. We are just now getting back on our feet. I know that the struggles that I have faced were placed on me for a reason. One day I will know that reason, but for now I am satisfied that my children are safe and healthy.

I know that there will be many more struggles to come. My children are 11, 12 and 13 now. Everyone tells me that the teenage years are horrific. I will just take each problem as it comes and do my best to deal with them. I am grateful that I have a good relationship with my children. We talk openly about our feelings and as a family we can and will survive anything that is put in our path. I did not ask for this life, but I know that there isn't a day that goes by that I do not thank God for my children. They are my life and without them I am lost.

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