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Only if they pass a Polygraph

And even then....there's no guarantee. This may sound harsh, but in reality, would you blindly trust the honesty of a stranger you just met in a bar? There is really no difference.

Several years ago I tried the on line dating scene. (I refer to it as "My Menopausal Stage.") I had been divorced for many years, raised my two children alone, had a career, loved my grandchildren, but now I decided I needed something new in my life.

I had a friend who was involved with on line dating. After many talks with her, I decided to give it a try. I felt somewhat safer being at home on my computer instead of out at a bar or club. I got to know a variety of people and to be honest, many people I corresponded with were a lot of fun. But honest? No.

As far as I could tell, very few men (I say men as that is all I talked with.) appeared to deal with me honestly. Even worse, if they sense you are honest, watch out! It is like you have a sign on your forehead. Naive or Gullible.

The good part is, if you maintain any type of consistent correspondence for any length of time, the inconsistencies will show up. It's true that some lies aren't that big a deal and have more to do with ego than anything else. On the other hand, some lies are not so innocent and that is what you need to watch for. We have all heard horror stories about on line relationships and none of us wants to be one of those stories.

If you want to participate in on line dating, you need to have rules you set for yourself that will help to keep you safe.

1~Don't give out personal information about yourself. Use a user name not your own, don't give out your address, phone number or personal email.

2~If after a while you decide to advance to actual phone calls, investigate this person as much as possible before giving out your phone number.

3~The first call, you call them. If they don't want you to call them, there is a reason.

4~Never agree to meet in a private or secluded place. A bookstore coffee shop is a nice type of place to meet.

5~Feel free to take a friend with you if you are concerned. (Also, if you weren't able to find out much about this person.) In the long run he/she will respect you for being cautious.

Another area you have to be careful about is how you are dealing with your on line relationship. Do you believe, through letters alone, that you are really getting to know this person? Do you think they are no longer a stranger? Are you developing an emotional attachment? Until you really know somebody, they are still basically a stranger. You need all your senses involved before you can really get to know someone. You need to see them, see the body language, facial expressions, hear the voice tones. All your senses are involved with getting acquainted with people.

Lastly, I point out that all lies are not intentional. You may be guilty of doing the same thing and this is why. None of us see ourselves as others see us and as we describe ourselves, we may think we are being honest, when, in fact, others see us totally different.

One thing is for sure. When dealing with people you don't know...you need to use caution, intelligence, and most of all....common sense.

Learn more about this author, G. Schettino.
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