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Divorce is rarely a simple solution for anyone involved. For children, it can be a scary time in an already puzzling world. Anger is one of the most common emotions children will blatantly exude during times of fear and confusion. It is important to acknowledge their feelings and allow them time to grieve the loss of a world they have come to know. Here are a few ways to help an angry child deal with divorce.

First, it is important to understand the emotional development and level of your child. Young children will lash out physically when they do not have the verbal ability to explain their wants and needs. Even some older children and teenagers will become aggressive and defensive when they can not find the words to explain their confusion and hurt. The best way to help them cope with anger is to teach them how to express themselves in an appropriate manner. it is also important that children have energy outlets throughout the day that help keep stress and anxiety at bay. These can include daily prayer or meditation, exercise, and family activities like game time and reading hour. In addition, the following ideas can offer help for the angry child.

Role-Playing
Puppets, dolls, action figures and even pretend housekeeping play can offer insightful opportunities into what the child is feeling. They give them a safe outlet for expressing themselves. Dolls, representing parents and a child, can act out the real-life situation through the child's eyes. The parent can take information gathered during the role-playing and transform it into conversation builders later. It can not be stressed enough to avoid being condescending. Nobody likes the feeling of their emotions being taken lightly.

Drawing
Drawing can help children express themselves without fear of being, "found out". Children are pretty transparent and it doesn't take an art therapist to see the emotions behind a child's artwork. However, a child can hide behind the pictures until they are ready to discuss their emotions. Parent can see the sadness, anger, frustration in the pictures and develop appropriate conversations to allow opportunities for the child to express his or her feelings.

Play-dough and Silly Putty
Play-dough kneading is a wonderful sensory activity that allows a child's emotions to be squeezed and pounded into an inanimate object. Children can stretch, pull, and shape the clay until the anger is soothed.

Exercise
Physical work is another method for helping the angry child. Children should not be made to keep the emotions bottled up. Instead, it is important to teach them appropriate methods for releasing the anger. One of the most popular methods is kick boxing or boxing. A punching bag is all that is needed or even a pillow will do. Children are able to use the bag whenever they feel angry and need to vent. Sports and exercise are great ways for children to focus anger into appropriate activities. Focusing on practice and play can help take their mind off the issues possessing their time and energy.

Prayer and Meditation
Many families are lacking some sort of meditation or prayer in their daily schedule. Even an agnostic child can benefit from quiet time to contemplate their day and the emotions they are feeling. Many religions have some meditation method, like the Catholic rosary or Buddhist prayer beads. Spirituality and meditation can offer great means for angry children to heal.

The most important thing newly divorced parents can do is listen to their children. For the nonverbal child, it is important to be aware of changes in behavior and allow the child a means for self expression. With a few of these activities added to a parent's toolbox, the child will find new and appropriate ways to cope with anger.

Learn more about this author, Vivian Nelson Melle.
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