It began as most great love affairs do, with an irresistible attraction. The introduction was smooth and natural, as if we were destined, and within moments the pleasure of sharing had me feeling lightheaded and weak in the knees. As our lips met, I was certain that we'd share many events together. It wasn't long before we enjoyed the first cup of coffee with each other every morning, lunch breaks, dinner dates, and post coital conversation. The more time we spent in each other's company, the more attached we became.

After twenty years, I realized that this wasn't a healthy connection, and it was time to break my dependency. The list of reasons to stop being together was plenty, and the benefits of staying were few. But the reality of stepping outside of a lifelong love had some harsh consequences. Which was more difficult, the choice to break away or the choice to remain together? The health hazards and the addictive qualities made the decision easy.

It was time to stomp out this illusion of love, dump all evidence of our exchanges in the trash, take a deep breath, and awaken to a fresh new reality no matter how miserable I would be in the process. One of us was going to say farewell first, and I'm glad it was me! Each fresh breath is a validation of no regret, and breath IS life.

It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Cigarettes no longer hold the power. To stop smoking required repeated attempts and the use of every tool available, but the conscious choice to quit and to put that energy into a different direction empowered me with a new life of freedom and joy.

Here are some suggestions that helped me to successfully reach this goal (principals that apply to all unhealthy addictions and relationships).

1. State your intentions, and believe with all your heart and mind that you can stop smoking. Don't give in to doubts or insecurities. Focus attention on your goal, and build your desire.

2. Chose your reasons carefully. Don't let fear be the factor - fear of death, fear of disease. Allow love to be the guide - love of life, love of family and self.

3. Commit to a quit date. Be specific. Mentally prepare beforehand and give your desired goal time to brew before the actual day. Think of it as marinating a pot roast or preparing for a play. Mark your calendar and keep the date.

4. Toss out all memorabilia associated with smoking. It's more difficult to quit if you're hanging onto a favorite ashtray, lighter,

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