by Laura Leigh Fields

Created on: January 10, 2008

The first date is often the basis of a relationship decision. If things don't go well, there isn't going to be a second date. For some, this may be disheartening especially if the reason for not being compatible is being too quiet.

For many people, talking doesn't come easy. For others, it's hard to shut up. It is best to find a happy medium and stick there. It isn't always enough to talk. You must also listen. Hear what the other person is saying and take mental notes.

The best conversation foot to start on is usually simple icebreakers. To make the car ride less uncomfortable, play a game of alphabet car tags. Take turns finding letters using tags and signs around you. (This is also a great way to pay attention to your surroundings.)

Talk about the weather or things you have seen on the news. Discuss sports playoffs, community issues, celebrity scandals, and other simple topics. Be careful not to get in to a heated debate. This is often a turn off for some people. Keep in mind that opinions vary and leave it that way.

Share a clean joke or riddle. Laugh at their jokes. Laughter is a terrific link to friendship. Smile genuinely. Embrace a sense of humor. Don't be wound so tight. Relax and have a good time.

People watch together. This is a fun game to help couples understand how the other one thinks. Try to guess the story of a stranger around you. (Don't be mean.) Everyone has a story; it's interesting thinking about what it could be.

Ask questions. Get to know the person you are with. Be careful not to overstep any boundaries or get too personal. Learn about their favorite color, actor, musician and food.

Talk of common interests. Discuss hobbies and skills. Speak of important people, pets, and things to you. Try to get a feel for their personality while helping them learn more about you.

Be honest and up front about your expectations. It is important that the other person knows what you are looking for. If you are both on different pages, things aren't likely to turn out well.

Communication is what will help you decide if this person is worth taking a chance on. Dead silence is a good sign that things are probably not going to go anywhere.

Don't be disappointed if things still turn out a flop, even after talking and listening your head off. All dates won't be perfect ones but a great conversation sometimes makes it all worth while

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