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Having to have to go through the experience of their parents divorcing can be tough for a child. For some children it may feel like they are getting a divorce too, from the safety of their secure family unit.

It is not unusual for a child to feel confused and angry at such a time. They will not have had the benefit of learning from experience yet like adults. They also will not have finished developing emotionally and may not be able to comprehend just what is going on.

Some children may feel that they have been abandoned by the parent who leaves without them. They may also feel angry at that parent for leaving them when they feel that they still need them and want them around just the same way as they always have been.

In other instances a child may feel that one particular parent is to blame for causing the family break up. This may be the parent whom they are assigned to live with on a full time basis and they are left with unresolved feelings which are unexpressed.

Whatever the reason for a child's anger it is most likely that the anger is masking an underlying feeling of hurt. Giving a child the space in-which to express themselves and say how they really feel can aid the healing process.

Sometimes what comes out of the mouths of babes may not only be wisdom. It can be that which you don't really want to hear as a parent which can lead to an attempt to steer a child away from intimate discussions.

Divorce can be a very stressful time for all of the family. However, even if you don't want to hear what your child wants to tell you it is important to let them have their say and this can prevent further outbursts and a building up of resentment.

Taking care not to increase a child's stress levels unnecessarily can also help. By making sure that problems still raging between feuding couples are not aired in-front of the child is a must.

Another common feature of anger in a child after a divorce is that the child's anger stems from frustration at not being able to control their environment. For them the experience of divorce is like a rug having been pulled from under them.

Before the divorce the child may have felt stable and secure. After the divorce they realize that life isn't as safe as they imagined and that sad things happen that are beyond their control.

Giving the child as stable an environment as possible after the trauma of a divorce can help to restore some normality in their lives and make them feel secure again.

Letting them know that they are wanted and loved is very important also. It may be obvious to the parent, but much less obvious to a child who secretly blames themselves for the break-up between their parents.

With communication, love and security you can best deal with an angry child after a divorce.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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