by Holle Abee

Created on: January 10, 2008   Last Updated: April 07, 2008

I was thinking on my last stroll through Walmart...someone could actually live in the place. I don't mean like when my husband tells me that I "live in Walmart" as hyperbole. I mean someone could actually LIVE in the 24-7 Super Walmart - AND never be bored!

Our local Wally World (which is way too close to my house) has a Subway restaurant, a deli with ready-to-eat hot and cold foods, and aisles and aisles of groceries, including snacks and lots of fresh fruits. There are plenty of plates, bowls, and plastic cups, forks, and spoons, too. Okay, that covers the eating part. With basic needs covered, let's explore a day in the life of a perpetual Walmarter:

To entertain yourself after a breakfast of juice, a croissant, cheese and fruit, mosy on over to electronics and play a few video games and watch a little TV. Next, go to the salon and get a new hair style. Then read a few magazines from the book section. Oh! Time for lunch! Hmm...how 'bout some fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli and cheese? Wait...let me go snag some milk from dairy.

After lunch, I think I'll play a few games in the arcade, try on some clothes and shoes, get an eye exam, and visit the nail salon for a manicure and pedicure. By now it's mid-afternoon, and I'm feeling kind of snackish. I'll just grab a coke and some chips and plop down on a lounge chair in the garden section outside for some fresh air and sunshine. But on my way there, I'll choose a good paperback to read while I'm lounging. I'll read for a couple of hours, then it's time for dinner! I think I'll have some sliced roast beef, green beans, a salad, potato salad, and a glass (cup) of red wine. Perhaps I'll have a shrimp cocktail for an appetizer. I'll save dessert for later.

After dinner, I'm feeling creative, so I go back to the craft section and open a few tubes of paint and a canvas and some brushes. But I need a few pointers...oh, look. I'll just check out one of these art books. After creating my masterpiece, I decide I'll frame it, so I choose a frame from the many on the rack. Okay, I think I'm ready for that dessert now. Wow! It's like a dessert cart in here! They have chocolate mousse, cheesecake, strawberry shortcake, 37 flavors of ice cream, and all kinds of pastries. I still have those added pounds from the holidays, so I'd better just chomp on an apple. Hmmm...which one? They have like 12 different varieties. I choose a red delicious. Now I'll watch some more TV.

Bath time! Oops, i didn't bring any jammies or clean undies! No problem. Check out sleepwear. I take a sleepshirt, some new underwear, a bar of soap, a towel, and a washcloth and head to the large restroom and bathe in the large sink. I now go to the back and grab the futon mat, drag it to the remote back corner of the store, and settle down in sporting goods with the book I was reading earlier. If I get cold, I'll just unroll one of the sleeping bags next to me. I read for a while, then drift off the sleep in the now quiet store.

I guess someone could actually survive for a long time in Walmart, or at least until they run you out. Seriously, the store is prety entertaining. And since our town is small, without a lot to do, Wally World provides hours of entertainment. In the deep south, we even have a name for it: Walmarting. As in, "Hey, get dressed. Let's go Walmartin' this afternoon!"

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