by L. A. Davenport

Created on: January 10, 2008

Sometimes we go through life taking things for granted. We make our friends, find our lovers, raise our children, do our jobs. Structure. Even in the chaos, there is structure. Sometimes our lives are hectic, exciting, horrific, painful - such is this life we live.

My life is one that always seems very strange. Unstructured. Day to day can be so very different. I seldom plan things because too often plans go awry. But there are things that I have in my life that are constant and keep me sane. My Beast. (She's actually my black chow that I adopted a couple of years ago from a high kill shelter.) She sleeps on my bed, wakes me each morning like clockwork with a little "arf" and when I unglue my eyes, she is wagging her tail with happiness and looking at me with unconditional love. Those times in which I struggle, she is there. We walk 5 miles a day, and sometimes I just look at the moon and stars, the snow drifting across my face, and following animal tracks with no concern of time and space. Other times these walks are periods of reflection, times of personal struggle and growth, times of deep thought (ha ha, reminds me of SNL's "Deep Thoughts with Jack Hanley" :-D).

My truest of friends. Always there no matter what, to help with the tough times, to celebrate the great times. What a friend should be. Even those who live worlds apart. It's like there is never any distance between us, time and distance does not cause anything but strength. Friends in which you can tell your deepest thoughts to and know that privacy is respected. Friends in which you listen to, knowing that this person considers you trustworthy enough to share heartache and pain, joy and happiness. I love all my true friends, and you know who you are.

Now that I sorted of rambled on, why did I get started on this? Simply because of problems that have been relayed to me. People who are sinking into the abyss and need a hand to help haul them out. People who have yet to understand that life is not handed to oneself, but life is what one makes of it. People who aren't able to look and see what is important in life. I'm tired of the drama, of the ridiculous backstabbing, the hurt caused by one to another, the immaturity of thoughts. Alas, lessons must be learned on one's own for them to be learned.

Why do people feel the need to hurt others? Physically. Psychologically. Sexually. What is the need to twist up someones life so badly that functioning through the basics of life is the only thing left. Why is negative reinforcment used so much more than positive? Why is there a need to control another? I sit back and watch these scenario's played out, wondering what it was that made a person choose a particular path. I see the pain but can not take it away. Why is it so difficult for us to see the beauty of life? Why must be attempt to destroy others? To cause pain? I don't understand it.

While working on my criminal justice degree, I was a volunteer tutor in psych and sociology. One young student said to me, "People who were abused become abusers." WRONG. Abusers were often abused, but not everyone who was abused become abusers. Some are able to find the power within themselves to never treat anyone how they were treated, to never inflict the type of pain they, themselves, suffered.

I wonder what would happen if we all just simply decided that it wasn't worth it to inflict pain, but rather a helping hand to those in pain. A world in which one felt safe. Sadly, a world in which we will never live, but the thought of it is rather nice. And I hope those young adults that are struggling with these adult issues will chose the right path. And find a life of peaceful existance rather than fear.

Just my thoughts . . .

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