3 of 24

Write now Article Tools

We live in a society where parents have to worry about so many things. Protecting one's child from sexual abuse is one of the most important concerns a parent has. So often we hear about family friends, or even family members, sexually abusing the children. How does a parent know who to trust?

I work in the criminal justice field, and I have read literally hundreds of police reports regarding child sexual abuse. Occasionally the offender is a true predator; grabbing innocent children when their parents aren't looking. Most of the time, however, the offender is someone the family knows and trusts. There are ways to protect children, however.

Most child molesters develop the relationship with their victim over time; they "groom" them until the child acquiesces to the offenders requests. They spend a significant amount of time with the child, and get the child to trust them. When they finally start sexually offending the child is put into a horrible position of having someone they care about do things to them that the child knows are not right.

The best defense a parent has against their child becoming the victim of a sex offender is communication; open and honest communication between parent and child that starts when the child is very, very young. "Good touch/bad touch" conversations are an excellent way to teach a child what is and is not okay. It is critical to ensure that the child understands they will never get into trouble for telling their parents if something is making them uncomfortable.

Maintaining open communication takes some work. It is important to pay attention to the child when he or she is talking and to make them feel that what they think and say matters. It is important to give the child the opportunity to talk, and to really listen when they do talk. By fostering the communication relationship from early on, the parent makes it much easier for the child to come and talk about things that may be bothering them.

Believe your child when they tells you something that has been happening to them. It is a defense mechanism for parents to deny that the child is telling the truth; no parent wants to hear that their child has been abused. Paying attention, listening, and checking out the child's story are critical aspects in protecting the child. A victimized child feels like he or she has done something wrong already; if the parent calls them a liar the child is simply victimized more.

Ask your child what goes on when they are not with you. Make sure you know who they are spending time with, and what they are doing. Talk to them; often! If they seem to be spending too much time with a particular person; such as a single adult with no children of their own in the neighborhood, be even more inquisitive. When your child is at a friend's house, drop in unannounced now and then to check out what is going on.

No one wants to raise their children not trusting other people, but the harsh reality is that there are many people out there who simply can't be trusted. Trust in your child, keep the lines of communication open and flourishing, and know where they are and who they are with. These things will help protect your child from sexual abuse.

Learn more about this author, Rebecca Dyson.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about How to protect children from sex predators?
We want to hear your view. Write now!