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Being able to tell that you are gay is not a simple matter. Some people instinctively know that they are gay and some know that they are not gay. Then, there are the people in the middle who don't have distinct attractions towards either the same sex or the opposite sex. It usually takes a person meeting that special person who really lights up their inner fire. That may be someone of the opposite sex or the same sex. It is often terrifying for a person who has always assumed that they were straight to find themselves suddenly attracted to someone of of the same sex.

The first time I questioned my sexuality was when I was twenty-five. I was a young married, mother and my husband's cousin and his fiance came to visit us in Florida. The fiance was beautiful, still is, and I was very draw to her. I just wanted to talk to her, to be near her and to touch her. I didn't understand what I was feeling and after they left I felt such a loss of her presence that it made me question my sexuality. I blew it off as just loneliness since I was home with two small children all day.

The next time I questioned my sexuality was a much stronger situation. My husband had wanted to watch me have sex with a woman for a long time but I kept saying no. We were living in Colorado and suddenly I had the urge to try having sex with a woman just to see what it was like so I hooked up with another "bicurious" woman. From the minute I started kissing this woman I knew I was in big trouble. The feeling was so amazing and the sexual experience erotic. For two years after that I tried putting together my feelings. I had never been very attracted to men and I just thought I was prudish but after this experience with this woman I found myself looking at other woman differently.

My husband and I had a lot of other problems and I was trying to hang in for the kids sakes but then I met a woman who blew me away and I couldn't get her out of my mind. This was the point when I knew for certain that I was gay because no man had ever made me feel the way she did.

It took a lot of questioning myself, my religious beliefs, my moral beliefs and feelings about being gay before I was finally able to admit that I was gay. I think this is true for a lot of people which makes knowing if you are gay complicated. My best advice for those who are in question about their sexuality is to try it out. If you can't do it, either you're not gay or you have issues that are strong enough to stop you from pursuing this lifestyle. If you don't try it and it doesn't feel right then you probably aren't gay, but you won't really know until you try.

Learn more about this author, Tina Brewster.
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